


A Better Answer

by BrokenBookAddict



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Betrayal, Caitlin x Harrison, Confessions, Confrontations, Crying, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Heartache, Heartbreak, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Lies, Light Angst, Love, Romance, Shock, Snowells, eo-snowells, eowells - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-02-18 02:01:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21503422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenBookAddict/pseuds/BrokenBookAddict
Summary: For the first time, he feels anything but one step ahead.
Relationships: Caitlin Snow/Eobard Thawne | Harrison Wells, Caitlin Snow/Harrison Wells, Snowells - Relationship
Comments: 92
Kudos: 156





	1. Confrontation

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the flash, I do own any errors.

It's so quiet you could hear a pin drop. 

From her position, she watches him as he sleeps stretched out along the white sofa, still naked from the love making they shared not to long ago. It doesn't matter how long she stands there gazing at him, she just can't connect what she knows with this reality. 

Tearing her eyes away from his still form, she turns her gaze away to stare back out into the never ending darkness that has shrouded over his huge garden, raindrops slam against the expanse of glass windows surrounding them. She follows the raindrops as they race in random patterns, with every new drop to hit the glass a new pattern is created. The rain is calming and usually it lulls her but now, it does nothing to sooth her. Behind her the over dramatic fire blazes, fighting away any lingering chill. She really doesn't have any idea what she's doing here, her mind in complete and utter turmoil after everything she has heard earlier that day. Well not only what she had learned today but also what she had learned a few days prior also. Everything combined is overwhelming her to the point where she feels like she's suffocating, the knowledge weighing down like a ton upon her chest. She rubs a trembling hand across her forehead before releasing a deep sigh. Thinking for once isn't helping her the slightest bit and yet she can't stop the thoughts from rolling around inside her head. Over and over they tumble. She wishes her mind would just stop bombarding her and allow her a moments peace. Allow her a moment of nothing, no thought or feeling.

Unfortunately she isn't that lucky. Far from it. 

She's startled out of her inner turmoil, when the man she assummed to still be asleep, speaks up from behind her.

"Caitlin?"

A shuddering breath escapes her at the gentle intimacy in his tone. It's soft and ruff and makes her _fucking heart ache_. 

Glancing over her shoulder, she watches him shift half awake, a hand rising to rub away any lingering remnants of sleep from his eyes.

"I'm here."

Those sleepy blue eyes immediately shift to hers from across the room and he moves himself on the sofa so he's more upright. "What are you doing over there?"

"Thinking," comes her soft and simple reply, her gaze returning to the darkness before her. Looking at him won't help. He has the power to weaken her and she can't allow it. 

"And what is that beautiful mind of yours thinking? If I may ask?"

She's silent for a few moments, an internal battle taking place as she debates whether to go with the honest approach. Taking a deep breath, she opts to do exactly that, to take the chance to lead with the truth because it's the right thing to do but understands all to well that this is a very dangerous game she's about to step further into. "I'm thinking of a question I asked somebody earlier today, and about the answer I got in return."

He nods, tilting his head to the side in a considering manner. "Not the answer you were looking for, I take it?" He offers her that charming smile that she loves so much and for once it does absolutely nothing to ease her like it usually would. If anything it sets her on edge even further. "What was your question? Maybe I can puzzle out a better answer for you."

A small humourless laugh escapes almost on it's own accord and Caitlin shakes her head. If only it were that simple. "I asked what the Reverse Flash and Dr Wells had to do with one another... the answer I got was basically, they are one and the same." She looks over her shoulder so it allows her to meet his startling blue eyes that are staring straight back at her, giving absolutely nothing away. _Of course_. "So... what do you think? Can you puzzle out a better answer than that for me? Because I'd really like to hear it."

They share at one another for a few moments, a heavy weight of silence falling between them before Caitlin breaks the standoff taking place by looking back out to the darkened garden. It gives her time to gather herself but it doesn't last long. The minutes drag by, when suddenly in the window reflection she sees him appear behind her. For a brief moment she half wonders if she's imagining it, but then his hands gently find her waist as he presses himself against her from behind. All the breath seems to leave her body in a violent rush. She can't breath, her chest hurts as her body fills with tension. This isn't some kind of sick hallucination, he really is standing against her, gentle hands sliding against her hips. 

Harrison's lips press against her ear where he softly whispers, "I can't give you a better answer, Caitlin."

His words ignite a fire and it dawns on her that this is actually all real. They had been right, Barry, Joe and Cisco had been right. They were right and she was so very wrong, about _everything_. 

The fire blazes within her and she does nothing to control it. 

"Dont-- don't touch me." She pulls away from him aburptly creating some distance then turns to face him, her eyes wide and full of tears. "You _are_ him... you're-- Oh my god." A trembling hand rises to cover her mouth, a wave of nausea hitting her as she tries to bury down the panic that wants to swallow her whole as the reality of her situation finally hits home. 

_Harrison is the Reverse Flash._

Harrison shakes his head, taking a step closer to her. "But you already knew that and yet, here you are because you know I would _never_ hurt you and that's why you came here tonight." He takes another step closer to her but he stops when she takes another back away from him. It surprises him how much that hurts. "What I don't understand is that you knew and yet you still let me kiss you, touch you, love you... why?"

He really is curious about it and she can see the confusion it makes him feel.

She's confused herself. Her brilliant mind is a jumbled _fucking mess._

"Hearing something which is speculation and seeing the evidence that proves it true, is two completely different things and I..." Caitlin tries to brush away the tears that fall. "And a part of me didn't want to believe it, that the man I fell in love with could be that person.... but you are, Harrison you...." she trails off as she looks at him. God she had forgotten just how tall he is as he stands opposite her, his startling blue eyes piercing into her very soul. Anger suddenly elevates within her to a frightening height and it escapes with ease. "You lied to us, _to me_! Is that all this was, a lie? The work, everything... _us_?!" She dreads the answers if she's completely honest but the questions need to be asked and the answers need to be given. She deserves that at the very least. "What was all this? Just a part of your sick game?" 

Harrison sighs, running a hand through his hair. "None of this is a game. For the last fifteen years I've been trapped here, Caitlin," he tells her, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. "Everything I've done was done with the intention of getting me back home and yet... throughout everything, the only thing that's really felt real, felt right, has been being with you."

She knew she had been wise to dread the answer to her question because his words do nothing but cause more confusion, more pain and what exactly is she meant to say to that? How is she supposed to feel? She doesn't have any idea what more to say. What do you say in a situation like this? When you find out the man you thought you knew, the man that you love and trust, turns out to be someone totally different. A speedster, a murderer. All she knows is that she needs time, time to think and to figure all this out and she can't do that here, not with him.

She needs to leave. Now. 

"I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have let my feelings for you overrule my head and cloud the truth given to me." 

"Caitlin, please. Let's take a--" 

"No."

Shouldering past him, she takes off his black sweater that she had slipped on earlier and drops it to the floor, reaching for her dress where it rests on the side table. Slipping it on, she then collects her underwear from the floor which she stuffs into her purse before slipping on her heels. When she turns around it's to find Harrison still naked and still standing where he had been beside the window, watching her every move. 

"Where are you going?" His question sounds wary, his eyes continuing to follow her movements around the room.

"Why? Are you going to stop me from leaving? I thought you said you'd never hurt me." Caitlin fires back knowingly taunting him as she makes her way out of the main living area, his footsteps can be heard following behind. She pays it no mind. "I'm leaving because I need to think and I can't do that here."

There's no response but then suddenly he's in front of her, red lighting crackling, filling the dark space of the entryway around them.

Caitlin jumps as they stand face to face. Lifting her hands she shoves hard at his chest. "Don't do that!" The tone of her voice shows how startled, how afraid she is. "Jesus Christ!" 

Harrison is quick to take a step back, giving her a little space. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." He lifts his hands as if in surrender, to show he isn't any real threat to her. "What are you going to do, Caitlin?"

She moves passed him towards the door. "Afraid I'll turn you in, is that it?"

"Caitlin, please..."

She isn't sure what he's asking, for her to answer his question or for her to stay. It could mean anything because he's not specific. Looking back at him, she shakes her head. "I don't know what I'm going to do. You lied to me. You ruined wjat we had and-- Despite everything you've done, you drag me into this deeper than I... I didn't deserve any of this," she pauses to take in a shaky breath. Next, she throws caution to the wind and just blurts out the other thing plaguing her mind. The one things she's protected so far and it fills her with guilt to use it as a weapon but he deserves it. "It's not just me I have to think about Harrison."

Puzzlement crosses his handsome face as his forehead creases in confussion. "What does that mean?" When she doesn't answer straight away not wanting to give in, he moves closer to her and demands again, "what does that mean, Caitlin? Who else is there to think about? Barry and Cisco?"

Reaching for the door, she pulls it open and steps through onto his porch. The rain is cold when it hits her skin. Figuring the truth hurts, she hurls some back in his direction. Turning to him she shakes her head. "No, not Barry and Cisco.... I'm pregnant, Harrison."

And then she's gone, her confession so shocking to the man that it has Harrison rooted to the spot, helpless to do anything but watch her walk away.

And for once, he feels anything _but_ one step ahead...

Tbc...


	2. Curiosity killed the cat.

Exhaustion, wariness, humiliation, anger and nausea are just a few emotions to name in which she is currently experiencing. She isn't hiding, not exactly, she's just keeping her distance. At least that's what she tells herself even as she prays for the ground to open up and swallow her. God, wouldn't that be a welcome relief and distraction. 

But she isn't that lucky, far from it. 

Caitlin stands to the back of the crowd away from everyone as they watch the screen. Inside one of the pipeline's adapted cells created by Cisco, is Harrison. He's talking to the team about something, she's not really sure what exactly as she's not really paying attention. The odd word filters through the haze, _blackhole, saving Nora, two minutes..._

Unlike any other time before where her attention would be captured, none of what they're saying means much of anything to her. Her attention span is waning rather thin. None of it really matters anymore because everything she thought her life had become is a lie, everything has fallen apart. Harrison is the Reverse Flash, a man from the future who travelled back where he then murdered Barry's mother and any number of other people along the way. Oh, and to top it all off because clearly that isn't enough, Ronnie is actually alive and standing across the room from her. The latter would have meant the world to her months and months ago, now it means very little. Of course she's happy he's alive and well but he isn't the man she loves because she's in love with another.

With Ronnie, she'd grieved and moved on. When she saw him for the first time, smiling at her like no time at all has passed, she couldn't bring herself to return it knowing full well that time has indeed passed and it isn't the same as it was. She knew she'd hurt him and it doesn't matter that it really isn't her fault, none of this is her fault. All she had done was move on and fall in love with another man. Guilt shouldn't pay any part. 

The man her heart holds close, currently looks up at the camera in the corner of his cell, explaining to Barry the fact he roughly has two minutes to change the course of time and save his mother. 

Her thoughts are rolling and her emotions are a mess. Absently she soothes her hand across her stomach, willing the feeling within to dissipate somewhat. She hasn't slept in what feels like days, her appetite non existent but she forces herself to eat. There isn't only herself to think about anymore, there's a tiny life reliant upon her now. Pulling herself away from the thoughts and memories which continue to taunt and haunt her, she finally notices the silence shrouded over the cortex. When she looks up away from the floor, it's to see everyone's eyes resting upon her. 

_Now what?_

"What?" She asks cautiously, dread filling her. "What's wrong?" 

The team is suddenly interrupted before anyone can even offer her an answer. 

"Where's Caitlin? I need to see her." 

Caitlin looks passed the others to the screen, to see Harrison staring as if he can see straight at her. Despite knowing the truth, he'll always be Harrison to her, he was the man she thought he was when she fell in love with him. Maybe it would be easier for her if she could think of him as Thawne but she can't. She swallows hard and drops her eyes because it _fucking hurts_ to look at him.

"You don't get to demand anything and you definitely don't get to see--"

"Caitlin. I want to see Caitlin. _Now_." 

Barry turns furious eyes back to the monitor. "We just told you--"

"I don't care what you told me, Flash!" Thawne shouts angrily, hand slamming into the side of the cell with deadly force. "This has nothing to do with you." 

The sound of his voice draws her attention back to the monitor. 

This is the first time since they captured him that he's exhibited any outward signs of anger or distress. Clearly this is a trigger and they just pulled it by denying him the one thing he asked for. 

"Caitlin isn't here." 

Caitlin's eyes never waver from the screen, watching how his jaw clenches as well as his fists. Even through the security feed, agitation rolls off of him in waves. He's pissed. "Where is she?"

"Where Caitlin is, isn't any of your concern." Joe injects harshly and Caitlin knows that is the wrong thing to say. If they don't wish to create volatile behaviour, they're going about it all the wrong way. "Why do you want to see her?"

"My reasons are none of your business." 

"I disagree." 

Inside the cell, the Reverse Flash stares up into the security camera, his expression thunderous. "I'll ask you one more time, where... is... Caitlin?" 

Before any of the team can jump in and defend her without her asking again, she steps forward, until she's directly in front of the screen. 

"I'm here." 

Instantly the difference in his body language is impossible to miss, not only to her but to the team. His body relaxes and his face softens. 

"Caitlin." 

There it is, her name spoken so softly, low and rough in a voice she loves. She swallows passed the lump in her throat. "What-- what do you want?" 

"I want to see you." 

"I don't think that's a good idea."

Harrison shifts on his feet, running a hand through his hair. "We need to talk." 

He's right because there's so much left unsaid, so many questions, so much hurt. She hasn't seen him since the night at his house when she confronted him a few days ago. She still remembers the look on his face after she told him the news, before she walked out leaving him standing naked and shocked in his entry way. 

The feeling of victory, of getting the upper hand over him only lasted until the end of his driveway where tears had come and her heart broke further.

Then Barry appeared out of nowhere, demanding to know what she was doing there. 

She can feel the guys around her growing restless, wanting to step forward and cut the comms feed but she ignores them. 

"Harrison--" 

If anyone pays note of her use of 'his first name' and not Dr Wells as she would usually address him, no one reacts to question it. 

Even through the camera his eyes implore her to agree. "Please, Caitlin." 

The eyes of the team bore into her so much so she can almost feel the weight, as they wait on bated breath for her answer. She can almost feel them willing her to deny him but she can't, even if she wanted to. She can't. It isn't within her power to do so. 

"Okay." 

His relief at her agreeing to see him is evident. "Thank you." 

She turns off the screen and for a moment stares at the blank picture before Barry's voice cuts through the fog. 

"Are you crazy? Why did you agree to see him?" 

Caitlin turns around to face them, not at all liking the look he's aiming her way. "Because I have to." 

"Why? You don't have to go down there. What possible reason could you have to agree to see him?" 

Honestly she can understand the confusion and maybe even the anger a little but this is her decision, no one else's. She shouldn't have to explain herself for making it. "I'm going down to see him. When I do the camera and comms stay off." Eventually she'll have to tell them, the baby in her belly will see to that but it will be on her terms alone. It will be her decision of when and where she reveals the secret of her relationship with Harrison. 

"What? No." Barry is quick to inject. 

"What the hell for?" Cisco asks warily, not at all liking the sound of it. It's too dangerous for her to be down there without eyes and ears on the situation. 

"Because I said so," she replies firmly, leaving no room for argument before repeating herself. "The camera and comms stay off. Please." 

She stares them down until as a collective, they agree. 

"That's fine," Joe replies easily, nodding at her, answering for them all in regard to her terms.

"Thank you," she offers softly, gracing him with a barely there smile. 

"I'll walk down with you." Cisco offers kindly but she shakes her head. 

"No," she says, "you have things to do. This is mine." 

Barry, clearly not happy, clenches his jaw. 

With that said, Caitlin turns away and moves for the door. She exits the cortex and takes her time travelling through the winding hallways of Star labs as she makes her way to the pipeline. 

Nervous energy flows through her veins, anger and hurt rests in her chest, nausea simmers low in her stomach. Her thoughts race as she grows nearer to the door. 

She has to see him, she has to do this....

.... Up in the cortex, Barry reaches for the remote and the shut off feed comes back to life. 

Inside the cell, their prisoner leans against the glass seeming lost in thought as he waits for Caitlin to arrive. 

"Barry," Joe warns softly. "We have to respect Caitlin's wishes." 

The Flash shakes his head, having none of it. "He's dangerous and manipulative. We need to monitor this, encase she--." 

"What?" Cisco steps forward, towards him and one of the many screens showing the scene Caitlin will walk in to. "You really think she'll let him go or something? Dude, it's Caitlin."

Ronnie steps forward to join the conversation, his instinct to defend the woman still strong despite circumstances currently being out of his control or understanding. "Caitlin won't let him out." 

"Not intentionally but he's--"

"Barry, listen to what you're saying." Cisco urges him. 

"I don't trust him." 

"None of us do, Barry but we have to trust Caitlin." 

But Iris' words mean very little. Since that night he'd caught Caitlin outside of Wells' house, (the same night she'd left him) he'd had suspicions that something wasn't right. Her explanation of being there to confront her boss and friend hadn't sat right with him. She'd clearly been crying but something felt off. Maybe this is the opportunity to find out the reason why. 

"None one has to be here for this but the cameras and comms stay active. If something happens we can be ready to react." 

React to what exactly they're not sure, they don't know what Barry expects to happen but his words clearly state the discussion is over. 

More than a few send sideway glances to the speedster questioning his actions and whether they hold reasonable weight, unease filling them as they betray their friend's wishes and trust in the process. The team stand behind him to watch the monitor once more, none of them liking the situation as they wait for Caitlin to make her arrival and talk to the man they currently hold prisoner. 

Curiosity after all killed the cat and this can either be good or really, really bad. 

TBC...


	3. A Conversation

The doorway to the pipeline is just ahead of her but the few short steps between where it is and where she stands feel like a greater distance than the one she just walked to get here. 

Her feet feel frozen to the ground unable to move, almost as though they refuse to take those short steps required to enter the room. She uses the opportunity her reluctant feet give to breath slowly, to calm herself and her tumbling thoughts. It doesn't work very well but at least she tried. Her mind is in overdrive and she has no control to stop it. While everything should be black and white, for her everything is drenched in grey. Her life has been turned upside down and everything has gone to hell in a hand basket. 

Caitlin glances to the doorway. Knowing she can't stall for very much longer, she gathers her resolve and takes the steps towards the door and into the room. Eyes keep to the ground as she slowly walks up the ramp where at the top, she stops. She blindly reaches out to the monitor on the wall, with a flick of her wrist she lowers the barrier shielding her from view. It takes every ounce of courage within her being to lift her gaze to the man within the containment module. 

Her pretty hazel eyes all to easily find his beautiful blue, where they lock and hold. The entrance to the pipeline is shrouded in silence, mostly because she doesn't know what to say. Probably because there is such a vast amount she wishes to know, but she doesn't quite know where to start. She also refuses to be the one to kick-start the conversation because after all, he wanted her here so it's up to him. The ball is in his court. A part of her argues not to give him the satisfaction or the control over this meeting but she hasn't the energy to care. 

There is so many things rolling around inside of her, questions and demands, hurt and anger, vulnerability and loss, exhaustion. Irritation too is a large part, because deep down despite everything her feelings haven't changed. It makes her question herself, if there's something wrong with her for feeling that way. Maybe there is something wrong with her, maybe some of his bad energy has chipped away at her good and tainted her. She really wants to believe it isn't a possibility, that feeling this way is totally normal. You can't turn it off like a light switch, can you? Because her heart certainly doesn't think so, mores the pity. 

"Hello sweetheart." 

His greeting kills her further if at all possible. He's using the voice she associates with their time alone, soft and low, intimate... a reminder of when they spent countless hours wrapped up in a tangle of bed sheets or on his couch with the fire blazing as rain pelted against the floor to ceiling windows surrounding them. 

Forcefully she shoves any lingering remnants of their time together away. 

"Don't." It's all she can manage against it, a single word filled with a desperate wish that she hopes he'll take on board. She needs him too.

He doesn't, of course. 

"Caitlin." 

He has this way of saying her name and it's something she's always loved. During the quiet moments around the lab or in his office where it's almost a gentle caress, to the moments of passion shared between them where it slips out like liquid heat, filled with a raw need only she can give him. 

" _Don't_." This time it's a little more forceful with an edge of warning. It's hard and aburpt. 

This time he takes notice, holding his hands up in gentle surrender as he stares back at her through the reinforced glass. Despite the games he plays with Barry and the others, it's not about that with her. It's never been about that with her. She's different. She's always been different even before their relationship. 

"Of course, I apologise." 

She crosses her arms under her chest, her hazel gaze fixed upon the man they hold prisoner. With everything, she attempts to keep her expression blank. Though she isn't sure she succeeds. "You apologise for what exactly?"

His gaze never wavers but his expression shows it should be obvious. It isn't.

"For hurting you, that was never my intention." 

"Out of the long list of your misdeeds, of which there are many, that's what you find of importance?" 

"I have done many things, terrible things and many of them I deeply regret, but hurting you was never... you have to believe--" He implores her to understand. 

"I don't have to believe anything you say! How can I? How can I possibly trust a single word that comes out of your mouth? Everything was, _is_ , a lie. You lied to me."

"I can understand your doubts but you know me, you--"

"But I don't know you! I have no idea who you really are." 

He takes her explosion of words, excepts the blows cast his way readily. He suspects many more will come by the end of this conversation. He accepts that too.

"You know who I am. You know a part of me that I have kept hidden, a part hidden for a very long time."

Caitlin stares him down, holding her resolve. She wants to laugh at the absurdity of it. "And which part is that exactly? The part of Harrison I thought I was getting or Eobard, the part I never knew even existed!" 

Thawne looks at her through the glass, his eyes holding a vulnerability she doesn't quite know or trust to believe. 

"I don't know anymore." 

"You don't know?" 

Thawne raises a hand to run through his hair, clearly agitated. "I've been here fifteen years Caitlin, _fifteen years_. I don't know anymore where one ends and the other begins." 

She doesn't know what to say to this revelation. Her mind is rolling and so is her stomach, because apparently morning sickness can hit whenever the fuck it wants. _Fantastic_. Though this conversation isn't helping matters any either. 

"When I tell you I never meant to hurt you, I mean it." He tells her quietly, leaning against the glass, imploring her to accept his words for the truth they are. He doesn't think she will but he has to try. This is important, because she's important. "Everything was real, every moment we shared was real Caitlin." 

"How can I believe that? What am I meant to do with it?" Caitlin shakes her head, tears burning her eyes. "I don't know anything anymore." 

"If you accept nothing else, accept this. Accept when I tell you it was real." Thawne sighs heavily. "I think deep down you know that too." 

His words hit her hard, like a forceful blow of truth she should have seen coming. She curses silently when tears fill her eyes ten fold. It's a weakness she doesn't want to allow herself. He doesn't deserve another part of her. 

His eyes trace down her body, taking in the stiff way she's holding herself. His wandering gaze rests briefly upon her stomach. "The baby growing inside of you is real. Our baby. A life, a little life we created together." 

She can't unhear or ignore the desperation in his words for her to understand that what was, _is_ , between them is very real. She also struggles to ignore the raw desperation written across his face as he looks at her. He wants, needs her to believe him. 

"You didn't give me a chance to-- when you told me about the pregnancy. You left before we could discuss it in greater detail." 

Disbelief clouds her features. "There was more important issues at hand. I was rather upset and had every right to be, wouldn't you agree? I had of course, just found out the man I've been seeing is actually the criminal speedster we've been hunting down for months."

He nods in understanding. Of course he doesn't blame her, she had every right. He gently tries to steer the conversation away though. He doesn't want to fight with her. "How are you?" He asks quietly before quickly adding, "physically? Is everything progressing as it should?" Mentally he knows her to be overwhelmed, he doesn't need to question her to know. It would be very easy for him to write a list guessing her mental and emotional wellbeing right now. 

Caitlin absently shifts a hand to her stomach before she realises the action and snatches it away. "I ran a blood test when I thought it a possibility. The blood work confirmed my suspicions. I'm thirteen weeks pregnant." 

"Thirteen weeks?" He repeats in disbelief. "How on earth didn't we notice?" 

"I don't know. I contributed it to stress." She shrugs. "But they were times were we weren't as careful as we should have been." 

He nods solemnly. "Something you probably regret deeply now, I suspect." 

Caitlin bites her lower lip, feeling guilty because she doesn't. "There are many things in my life I regret, things I have done but I-- no. I don't regret this." 

He isn't stupid enough to ask if she means their relationship or the baby. The answer is clear. She'll never understand or know how deeply that pleases him though. That despite everything, all her heartache, she doesn't regret the one greatest gift he could give her. 

It doesn't change where there are or the circumstances surrounding them. 

Which her face readily displays. "I can't regret it because this baby is innocent, good and pure." She pauses then throws rather harshly back at him, "everything you're not." 

That hurts, especially from her. He hasn't guarded himself well, he's let his walls crumble and she has the power to bring him to his knees. Even if she doesn't know it a possibility. "Caitlin--"

"You're the reverse of all that! Guilty, bad and evil." Caitlin's voice breaks but she continues. "You murdered Barry's mother, you murdered Cisco.... you killed countless others, innocent people."

"Yes," he replies to her truthful words. "To get home!" 

"And that's supposed to make it alright?"

"No, of course not but it's the truth that explains everything I have done." 

She turns slightly away from him, as a thought pops to the forefront of her mind. "Then what about us?" 

"Us? What about us?" He repeats warily, growing tired of arguing. He doesn't want to argue with her, he just wants to talk, to be able to explain. 

"What use did I offer? How do I fit into all this? How does our relationship?"

"It doesn't."

Caitlin's brows furrow in confusion. "Excuse me?" 

He sighs in exasperation. "I prided myself on always being one step ahead, of holding all the answers. I had my plan to get home. You were never part of that plan." 

She doesn't say anything. 

"Despite everything being in place and on track, there was one kink I couldn't iron out. You. You were, _are_ , the one weakness I couldn't deny myself. When I told you I don't know where one part of me ends and the other begins, it's the truth but there's a piece of common ground right in the middle where you belong." 

It hurts to hear it, that she wasn't a part of the plan, it would be easier if she were. She could possibly accept being used but that isn't what happened. He hadn't used her to get what he wanted. She wasn't a means to an end. 

He wanted her, just for her, that's it. As simply as a man wanting a women. 

_Fuck that._

"No. No, you don't get to tell me that." Those tears she fought hard to hold at bay finally slip free and she reaches up to angrily brush them away. "Haven't I been hurt enough?" 

He stays silent, his face a blank mask against the sadness he feels. In the face of all his crimes, of everything he's done, this hurts most of all. It's slightly terrifyingly the power she holds over him and he's completely weak to it. 

"I told you that night, do you remember?" She turns back to him, eyes red with tears over flowing. She meets his gaze, giving him no opportunity to respond to the question. "I told you I didn't want to hurt anymore. That I wanted something good in my life. You promised me both, you looked me straight in the eye and promised and then you kissed me. I took a chance and let myself trust you." _I_ _let_ _myself_ _love_ _you_.

He does remember that first night and he remembers what came after. In his mind he can see her rising above him, her wet heat surrounding him as she rocks down onto his length, her fingers curled into his hair, eyes locked together as she comes hard around him. 

"I meant every word. Hurting you was never an option for me. I _never_ wanted to hurt you."

Caitlin let's out a hollow laugh. "Well congratulations, you failed spectacularly."

In more ways than one, but surprisingly, this tops the list. 

A moment's pause falls between them, the quiet heavy and burdened with tension. 

"What will you do now?" He eventually asks. 

"I don't know." She has no idea what comes next and she has no idea how she is going to find the strength to face it. She feels exhausted, mentally and physically. 

Thawne nods, taking her words for what they are. She honestly doesn't know. "I know you said you don't regret it but--" His eyes move over her to settle again on her still flat stomach. "Will you keep it? The baby?" 

She swallows down the sob that rushes to escape. Her life is turned upside down and she has know idea how to right any of it. For God's sake, she's having a baby with a man from the future, who's inside another man's body and he's murdered people. What crazy shit has her life become? 

"Caitlin?" 

"Do you really care?" 

His answer is instantaneous. "Yes, of course." 

There's another momentary pause. 

"To answer your questions, I don't know what will come next and I don't know if...I'll keep it." Even as she says the last part, she knows it to be untrue, it's just a reflex to hurt him. The look on his face surprises her because clearly her words worked to hurt him greatly. Good. "You seem unhappy about my indecision." 

"I am," he says quietly, "because you just said it. This baby is innocent, good and pure. He or she, doesn't deserve to pay for the sins of the father." 

It lingers in the stillness that falls between them. Minutes pass before Caitlin looks to him again. 

"If you could change it all, would you?"

It's within his power to do so but the answer he knows she wishes for, he simply cannot give. "I wouldn't change what we had, the time we spent together. The baby." It's all he can offer, in the grand scheme, it means very little. "I'll never regret anything I shared with you." 

The words hit her like a freight train and she wishes she never asked. It seems her questions only deliver answers set to torture her further. 

And with that, it seems this meeting has come to an end. Nothing more to be said. 

Caitlin turns away to the computer monitor, ready to bring back down the barrier between them. She turns her head to see him leaning against the glass, his eyes fixed upon her. Staring back is Harrison, the man she spent countless hours secluded away with, the man she fell in love with, the man who's baby she carries. 

Just before she presses the screen to drop the barrier, she tells him softly, "I loved you, you know." The last thing she sees is his stricken face before the barrier blocks her view. She slides down the wall and allows herself the opportunity to really cry, to cry for the shit show her life has become. 

Her heart feels like it's shattered into a million tiny particles with no hope of rebuilding. 

Inside the cell behind the barrier keeping her from his view, Reverse Flash angrily slams is fist repeatedly into the glass. 

"You are my one weakness, my love." 

Tbc... 


	4. Invasion Of Privacy

The cortex is quiet, the silence deafening and no one dares to move a muscle. 

Shock is the perfect word to describe their current state. 

The team stare completely transfixed at the screen before them, eyes never stray away as they watch the Reverse Flash repeatedly slam his fist into the glass over and over and over. 

There's no fear that the glass will weaken under the attack because it won't, even as he continues to hit it with a sickening force. It's a fine display of engineering brilliance. 

"You are my one weakness, my love." He murmurs loud enough for the comms to pick up as he finally gives up his assault and slumps down to the floor. 

For the team watching the scene play out, right from the very beginning where Caitlin stepped inside and lowered the barrier, the change they witnessed in the man was absolutely startling and almost riveting. Gone was the man who's hard and arrogant, dangerous and manipulative, aggressive and volatile. Instead in his place was a different man, the reverse if you will, a total contrast, as soon as he saw Caitlin the change was instant. He softened and relaxed, became caring and concerned, _loving_. For the time Caitlin was there, it was like they were seeing a glimpse to the side of Dr Wells they always imagined there to be, the one before his wife died. 

Except of course he isn't actually Dr Wells.

So they have no idea whether this softer side is one part or the other, Harrison or Eobard. Just like the man himself they have no understanding of where one ends and the other begins. Moving that aside, they struggle to take on board everything they had just heard. Apparently, their close friend and teammate has been in a relationship with the man they now know to be the Reverse Flash. A serious relationship, one where love had blossomed and a baby had been conceived. 

As the Reverse Flash sits quietly, clearly trying to steady his breathing and calm his anger, Caitlin cries her heart out on the ramp of the pipeline. 

If it had felt wrong before, it definitely does now, ten fold. They had broken a promise and invaded the privacy of a woman they all hold dear. 

Cisco tears his eyes away from his sobbing best friend upon the screen who's slowly breaking his heart, he reaches for the remote in Barry's hand. He ignores the hard look the scarlet speedster gives him as he turns off the feed.

Enough is enough, they've seen far more than they should.... 

In the entrance to the pipeline, sat upon the ramp against the wall, she looks to the barrier locked in place, which hides him away from her broken scrutiny. Reaching up with trembling hands, she wipes at her eyes, brushing away the tears tracks running down her cheeks. In and out, in and out, she slowly breathes as she calms herself. 

Eventually though Caitlin drags herself back to her feet, legs shaky, where blindly they retrace their steps back to the cortex. She's an absolute mess but she fails to find the energy to care, it would also take a team of miracle workers to disguise the fact she's been crying her eyes out. She can't hide it and the team will probably think the tears are of anger and betrayal which, yes they are but ultimately, it's for her broken heart and for the baby she safely carries in her womb. 

He lied and ruined everything. 

Her heart feels as though it's been shattered into a million tiny particles with no hope of rebuilding but she will. Painstakingly, she will collect each particle and repair the damage, because she has too and not only for herself. There isn't just herself to think of anymore. There's a tiny life dependant on her. A fact that is continuously at the forefront of her mind. 

As she walks the last few meters on the 600 level that's takes her to the cortex doorway, she pauses to collect herself as best she can. She quickly realises that the effort is a lost cause because she's a complete and utter wreck.

When Caitlin finally draws up courage and walks in, almost immediately it becomes apparent that something is desperately wrong. All eyes bore down upon her like a ton of bricks and when she sees Cisco shift on his feet and throw a not so subtle look in Barry's direction, she understands completely. 

Despite her instruction for the security feed to be suspended, they had clearly seen and heard everything. 

Panic and anxiety starts to rise within her at an alarming rate as she looks between the gathered team. Ronnie looks to the floor, hiding his expression from her. Stein looks disappointed. Cisco looks uncomfortable, torn being in the middle. Iris and Joe stand to the back of the group, the former looks sympathetic while the latter is guarded. Barry, well, his face says it all. Betrayal, anger and disgust and it looks like he's barely containing it all. 

It's something they have in common because it's exactly how she feels right now. Pissed is an understatement. She had kindly asked them, all of them, for privacy. To respect her need for privacy while she went to talk to Harrison and they'd given it, however hesitant, they had agreed to it. 

Then immediately smashed it to fucking smithereens the second her back was turned. 

She feels sick to her stomach and it isn't a byproduct of her pregnancy. "I-I told you no cameras or comms." 

"Barry..." her best friend glances to the speedster. "We thought it best, just in case something happened, you know." Poor Cisco tries to offer a explanation that may possibly help. But it doesn't. It's feeble and infuriating. 

Caitlin turns her attention to the scarlet speedster, picking up what Cisco was putting down without actually saying it. "What did you think? That I'd let him out?" 

Barry ignores the insinuation which he and everyone else gathered around knows to be true. Instead, he counters with a question of his own. His anger lacing every word. "Did you know?" 

Her face shows her momentary confusion. "Did I know what?" Then as if the cloud of confusion clears, she realises what exactly he means and he can't possibly be serious. "Are you seriously asking me if I knew he was--"

Barry doesn't even allow her the chance to finish voicing her question. "Yes! Yes, I'm asking if you knew Dr Wells is the Reverse Flash." He takes a step forward, towards her. 

She counters his advance with retreat, taking a step back away from him. He looks far more angry than she's ever saw him. It comes as a surprise, that it's more frightening than being alone with his reverse, at least she knew _he_ wouldn't hurt her. Which is something she would never have thought before in regard to Barry but this is an exceptional circumstance. 

"Barry," Joe warns quietly, willing his son to actually think about what he's saying right now. This has the potential to go very bad, very quick. 

"No," Barry says firmly, staring down the woman before him, waiting. 

Caitlin, for her part, feels like she's been sucker punched. How could he honestly believe that of her? "I would have thought spying on the security feed would have answered the question for you." She motions with her hand to the blank monitor which had earlier been showing her conversation with Harrison in the pipeline. 

"Did you know?" He repeats instead, more harshly this time. 

"No..." she admits with a shake of her head. "No, I didn't know and I'm offended you have to question it." 

"You're offended? He killed my mother, Caitlin!" Barry shouts back, then aburptly changes course. "That night, when I found you at his house... you told me you had gone there to confront him.' 

"I was leaving when you got there and I wasn't lying to you Barry, then or now." 

"You confronted him, alone?" 

"Yes. I went to his home like we planned. We--" _made_ _love_ "I-I eventually confronted him with our suspicions and he... confirmed." 

"That was dangerous," Cisco states quietly. 

Caitlin shakes her head. "Either way, I knew he wouldn't hurt me." 

"Why didn't you tell us? We could have caught him sooner." Barry tells her, frustration evident in his words. He can't quite grasp that she had the information at her disposal and didn't use it.

The truth wouldn't be appreciated, she knows that but lying wouldn't be welcome either and she doesn't want to start doing so now. 

"I didn't know what to do." And she hadn't. 

"Telling us would have been a start!"

Caitlin flinched at the harshness in his tone and she takes another step away from him. 

"That's enough," Cisco snaps and steps in after Barry explodes. "Stop, now." 

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Ronnie take a step forward, looking as if he wishes to intervene. Stein places a hand on his forearm, drawing him back. The older man understands this isn't their place. 

Caitlin clasps her shaking hands in front of her. She sends her best friend a grateful look for stepping in. She spares a regretful look in Ronnie's direction, hurting him was never what she wanted but he wasn't even a part of the equation and now he isn't looking anywhere near her to see the look she offers his way. Instead she focuses upon Barry, Joe, Iris and Cisco. The four people who have been here from the moment this all started. Her explanation is aimed at them. They deserve to hear the truth from her and she deserves the opportunity to set the record straight. 

Now isn't the moment she wanted to be doing this. She had wanted time but that decision had been taken from her when the security feed had been activated behind her back. 

"My relationship with Harrison started months and months before you even suspected he may be the Reverse Flash. Our relationship shifted from friends and colleagues into something more, which we were both in agreement to keep it private away from the lab. I-I was worried how you would take it and he worried that my reputation would be further tarnished if we become public." She explains quietly, looking between the four of them before she focuses entirely upon Barry. "You have to believe that I never once suspected or knew anything. The first time I became aware was when you told me at Joe's. You saw only a glimpse of my reaction. I was hurt and angry, I felt betrayed, I felt lied too but I-I was hopeful that you were all wrong. I didn't want to believe what you were telling me. How could the man I know be capable of what you were accusing him of? But then the pieces started falling into place like a devastating puzzle and things started to clear into a picture I didn't want but... I--I held onto the doubt because I didn't want it to be real. It couldn't be real. "

Iris steps forward, her expression as sympathetic as her eyes. It gives comfort to Caitlin to see. "Why?" 

"The day I decided to confront him... I found out I'm pregnant," she admits softly, taking every once of courage to say the words. The shock is still apparent for the others. "It wasn't just about me anymore. There's a baby in the middle of all this but I needed to know so I went to him." 

"Where you asked him if he was the Reverse Flash?" 

She shakes her head. "Not at first. I couldn't bring myself to do it, I didn't want to do it because I feared the answer. So in the beginning it was like any other night we spent together until I-I stood staring out into the darkness, watching as it grew darker and darker until it felt like it would consume me too. So I asked him."

Iris gently prompts her. "He said yes?" 

Caitlin shakes her head. "No. At first he didn't say anything because he didn't have to. In the reflection of the window, I saw him standing behind me." 

Iris gasps quietly, the reporter within her enraptured by Caitlin's explanation of events. 

"At that moment it really hit me that he was exactly who you suspected him to be. It was like a freight train hitting. So I pushed him away and screamed at him. I can't even remember what I said, everything just hit at once. I-- I remember after gathering my things to leave, I made my way to the front door where it was dark and suddenly he appeared in front of me, red lightening filling the room... He was worried." 

Barry stands quietly, a scowl on his face as he listens. 

"Is that it?" Cisco asks warily. 

"No. I started to leave and he wanted to know what I was doing to do and that's when I told him... about the baby." She whispers loud enough for them to hear. "I didn't give him a chance to say anything, he was shocked I guess and then I left. That's when Barry found me." 

"It really gives a whole new meaning to sleeping with the enemy."

Caitlin rolls her tearful eyes at Cisco's shoddy attempt to break the tension. Unfortunately, for once he fails miserably. "He wasn't the enemy to me, Cisco. At least not at the beginning." 

"But you still went back." 

Caitlin turns her tearful eyes to the Flash. "I did, with the reasons I just explained. I'm not the bad guy here Barry, despite how much you may think so. If there's one thing I'm guilty of, it's falling in love with the wrong man." 

Barry, for the first time since she stepped back inside of the cortex, looks more his usual self when not overcome with rage. He visibly deflates, sense overshadowing his anger. For the first time he clearly sees how upset the woman standing in front of him is and he's contributed to it. "I'm sorry, I never meant to--"

"It's fine." It isnt but she finds it easier to wave away his apology than to accept it. He made her feel like she had done something wrong when she hadn't. He seems to forget, her life is shattered in amongst all this too. 

"What will you do know?" Iris asks tentatively, eyes flicking toward her stomach. 

"I'll stay until this is dealt with but then I think I'm going to leave. I've been offered a position at Mercury labs that's interesting." 

"You're gonna leave?" 

Caitlin gives her friend a sad smile. "It's for the best, Cisco." 

Cisco's face falls and Iris looks surprised. Barry looks ashamed and as though he's going to raise a protest. Joe's next question kills it before its even formed. 

"And the baby?" 

Caitlin blinks back tears and looks down, her stomach is still flat but in a few months it will be heavy and full holding safe the life within. "I'm going to keep it," she reveals hesitantly, expecting protests but none comes which is surprising considering the circumstances. "He or she shouldn't have to pay for the sins of his father. This baby is good, innocent and pure. I can't give up on that." 

"The reverse, right?"

Caitlin nods tearfully at Iris, ignoring how Barry turns away. 

She can't say the thing she wants. That the baby is also the best part of the man she fell in love with. Harrison. That's who she made this little life with, in moments of love, passion and laughter, twisted in the white sheets of his bed. This baby is the best of both of them and deserves the best chance to live a life it deserves. 

Cisco breaks apart from the group to move to her side. She anticipates the hug he wraps around her before he even offers it. She burrows further into the embrace, fingers curling into the back of his t shirt as she hopes to disappear. 

"I got you, girl." 

It's as good a promise as he can give. The acknowledgement that he'll be there for her, through whatever is too come. As best friends do. 

It's all she really has right now to hang on to. 

Tbc... 


	5. Memories

It's been three hours since she walked out of the cortex to visit Harrison, Eobard, whatever the hell he wants to call himself, in his cell. It's been close to fours hours now since the team had discovered and been told the truth. Her truth and not what they overhead over the security feed while invading her privacy. 

Now, there's absolutely nothing. 

The stairs is dark, cool and quiet, night drawing in closer as the evening slowly drags by. Cisco hadn't wanted to leave her alone but she dismissed him with soft, careful words of her desire to be alone as she stepped out of his embrace before fleeing. 

Wrapping her hands tighter around the oversized white Star labs mug, she gazes out the large expanse of glass before her. Beyond the window Central City is lit up, showcasing it's beautiful skyline proudly. Lights shine bright from homes, offices, restaurants, bars... inside every one holds a story, each one very different from the last. She wonders what they see looking in here. Do they just see a building that has spread so much destruction and hurt onto the city? Do they see a building and the few people left, who fight within to work hard to right that terrible wrong? Do they see a woman, pregnant with her love's baby, completely exhausted and utterly heartbroken? Those are a few but there are a thousand and one more questions rattling around her brain about what the citizens of Central City could possibly see. 

In the grand scheme of things, it means very little and it serves only as a terrible and temporary distraction from her current predicament. 

When she told the team earlier that she would stay for the duration it takes to settle this mess, it was true and will remain so. The same can be said for her leaving. She will take the job offered to her at Mercury with Dr McGee and leave Stars labs and the trail of bad memories behind. She can't stay here, not anymore, not after everything that's happened. This place holds far to many memories, a mixture of both happy and sad, that it would take a lifetime to divulge them all. Another thing that weighs heavy upon her is Barry. Despite his words after her explanation, his assertion he does in fact understand and his offered apology for his accusations, deep down a layer of doubt exists within where she doesn't quite believe him. Maybe it's bad of her but it's how she feels. This situation is to close to home for him and of course, she understands that without a shadow of a doubt but it's the situation which exists. She worries it serves to cloud how he sees things around him and how he deals with them. They've seen glimpses of it in the past, he has a tendency to react emotionally rather than logically. She doesn't want to stay and wonder, especially when the pregnancy progresses and the baby arrives. Would he resent a child for who the father is? She really wants to say no, that Barry isn't the kind of person to do so, she really wants to believe it but... she can't. Nothing about his behaviour is rational where the Reverse Flash is concerned. Already the instinct inside of her wants to protect this innocent life away from any possible negative feeling or action. Even if it means from Barry, which is such a horrible thought and one she never thought she'd have. Yet this is the reality of her situation. 

If you were to say a month ago, a week even, that her life again would lie at her feet in shattered pieces, she would have laughed. She thought she was at a turning point, finally something good was happening in her life and she was happy. _Harrison_ made her happy, which looking back is such a fucking joke, because he destroyed everything. There had been no indication of the events which would follow. Everything was as it should be. She woke up and got dressed, came into the lab to work with Cisco and Barry to take down whatever criminal or meta human that threatened their beloved city. In quiet times she would focus upon whatever research she was undertaking.

When the hours slipped into night, their time would come. Yes, there had been stolen moments throughout the day throughout the lab. A heated moment in his office, a soft touch in a secluded corridor, a lingering kiss in the kitchen to name a few but it was at night where this thing between them became alive, like a fire ignited burning bright. But, it had never been just about sex. There were days where they were not intimate, where quiet nights were shared. They would cook or order takeout, they would sit in front of his fire wrapped around one another and simply talk. Though yes, there was sex and my God, had it been good. Even with his disability, which she now realises to be utter bullshit, he had never left her wanting. 

Whether that be by his hand, with his mouth or using his cock. He had this way of doing things, of making her feel safe, satisfied and loved. It had never felt like that before, being intimate, never the all consuming need she shared with him. 

And it was all a fucking lie. Goddamn him. 

He gave her everything only to rip it all brutally away. In some ways it was worse than losing Ronnie. It was clear cut or appeared to be, when he died. She wasn't lied to and betrayed, her trust shattered. It was a lie. 

Her head pounds, her thoughts are a jumble, eyes red and puffy from the rivers worth of tears that have flowed. She tries not to think of him but no matter how hard she tries, memories slip through the cracks of her weakened defence and she can do nothing to stop it....

_Darkness surrounds them, the faint light of dying flames give only a very faint glow. Across the floor clothing is abandoned as is his wheelchair beside the bed. Lying among the expensive, twist of white sheets, two bodies rest in the aftermath of their lovemaking. Bare skin holds a faint sheen of sweat, laboured breaths even out as they sprawl together with their heads sharing a pillow. So close that a mere shift would cause their lips to brush once more._

_With the softest of touches, her fingertips randomly draw patterns over his chest. She bites her lip, feeling the intensity of his gaze down to her very bones._

_"Why are you looking at me like that?"_

_He doesn't answer. Instead his own hand finds her face, cupping her jaw as his thumb brushes across her ever abused lower lip. It drives him insane when she does it, whether that be in private, public or professional situations and he knows she knows the effect it has. He would wager an eighty percent guess that most of the time, it's done on purpose in hopes of provoking him. Eighty percent of the time, she succeeds._

_"Harrison."_

_"Hmm?"_

_Caitlin rolls her eyes. "You're hopeless," she gently teases as her fingers caress his collarbone._

_"Only when it comes to you, my dear."_

_She giggles, still a little tipsy from the wine they shared with dinner but also high from the orgasmic bliss he delivered her into. The man has such a way with his mouth, an ability to tease and torture until she's a trembling mess._

_"You don't see it."_

_"See what?" She asks slightly puzzled._

_Those brilliant and beautiful azure eyes of his sharpen upon her. Suddenly there's a seriousness within his gaze that hadn't been there only moments before. "See how every fibre of your being is brilliant and beautiful. Such a stunning distraction."_

_A faint blush rises up at his words, colouring her pale complexion further. "A distraction?"_

_"Hmm." He makes the shift so his lips are able to brush hers._

_"I didn't know you needed one."_

_His voice drops low, it becomes slightly ruff. His hand traces the curve of her breast. "Everyone needs a distraction and luckily for me, I have the very best kind. You."_

_"I've never been someone's distraction before." Caitlin pulls back just a fraction to allow her gaze to meet his own. "I think it's quite the compliment."_

_"It is and a thoroughly deserved one."_

_She reaches up to run soothing fingers through his hair. "I'm glad I can be that for you. Your distraction."_

_"Mine." Something flashes in his eyes briefly, she wants to say possessive but it's gone before she can properly distinguish it. "Like a shining light guiding through darkness, after everything that has happened, you have always remained by my side."_

_Her eyes fill a little at that because she knows what it costs him to express feelings such as that. The explosion and resulting aftermath has weighed heavy upon him. His life has changed because of it as had her own, along with a vast number of other peoples._

_Instead of offering words that feel inadequate, she kisses him softly, hoping to show what words would fail to impart._

She remembers clearly how they made love again that night, setting in for a long, slow fuck as she rose above him, so intense it left every nerve ending alight with fire coursing through her veins. 

She curses the man, whoever the fuck he really is. 

They could have been a family but now they are nothing. He's inside a cell paying for his crimes and she's pregnant, broken and crying in a stairwell. They are nothing. 

Caitlin shifts on the step she's sitting upon, her eyes on the window which usually by day opens up the rather grand stairwell with the glorious sun light that filters inside. This place has always offered her a chance to escape and she takes comfort in that. 

But it doesn't last for very long, unfortunately. 

Footsteps ascending the stairs draw her attention and as she takes a sip of her tea, she half expects Cisco to appear, looking to check up on her despite her reassurance it wasn't necessary. But when the person reaches her level, her eyes find the familiar figure and pause because no, it isn't Cisco after all. 

And just when she thought she'd been dealt enough blows, another comes her ways. 

Because it's Ronnie. 

Tbc...


	6. Only Fair

Well isn't today the day that just keeps on giving... she's really doesn't have any idea what she needs to do to catch a break. Surely one should be heading in her direction round about now but she doubts it. 

"Hey." 

At the sound of the familiar voice offering a gentle greeting in hopes of not startling her with his sudden appearance, Caitlin sits up straighter where she's perched upon the cold concrete steps. This voice belongs to a man she once loved. It would be rather foolish to deny she felt nothing. Because she does. The difference being that now it's different, the feeling isn't the same as it once was but a part of her will always hold affection for him. Once upon a time this man had been her life, she had agreed to marry him but then things changed with an explosive tradegy. He died and she grieved his loss, then tentatively as time went by she began to move on and in the process fell in love with another man. 

The title that use to belong to Ronnie, now belongs to someone else, despite the current circumstances. Her love is now reserved for the man they have locked away in a pipeline cell. It starts and ends with him, strong and all consuming. 

"Hi," she replies softly, aware this is only the second time they've been alone since his return from the ' _dead_ '. It hurts her somewhat that she doesn't feel what she once did for him, her heart had found it all to easy to move on and allow another man to take root, though far deeper than ever before. It comes with a sense of guilt the knowledge tnat she's never experienced a love as deep or as fierce as the one she shares with the man they have locked away. 

Does that make her a bad person? She doesn't know. Can you blame someone for moving on with their life? Of course not but still, the doubt remains. 

All she knows right now is that Ronnie's here and clearly, he's sought her out for a distinct purpose. Whatever that may be, obviously she's about to find out. 

So after her initial greeting, Caitlin now remains silent. On her step, she forces her body to relax by taking a sip of her tea, welcoming the warmth it offers as her eyes follow the man as he moves toward the large window. She won't allow herself the vulnerability of appearing unsettled. 

Ronnie stands before the expanse of glass, looking out to the city beyond. "I always did find it strange why you liked it here so much. Whenever you disappeared I always knew this is where I'd find you." 

And yet during all those times where she disappeared, he never once came looking, understanding that this piece of the vast building where they worked was her one place to hide away. He had never followed after her... until today. She wonders if it's because their relationship is over, a shattered mess of past memories and with it, he feels he no longer has to respect her need for solitude like he use to before. Maybe he doesn't owe it to her, if he ever did.

Her eyes never waver from his person and she allows him the time because he's obviously sought her out for a reason, he'd stepped into a place he'd never been, after her, for a reason. Her curiosity is peaked, she won't lie. 

Ronnie turns away from overlooking the city to finally look at her, leaning back against the glass as he does. He shoves his hands deep into his pockets as he crosses one foot over the other. His posture may scream he's relaxed but his expression sure reveals the opposite. He definitely needs to work on that for future reference. 

"I wasn't sure if it were appropriate but, congratulations." He offers, starting off the conversation. "On the baby, I mean." 

"Thank you." She accepts his words and feels incredibly stupid for doing so. 

"I always said you'd make a wonderful mother," he says, reminding her needlessly of many a conversation they had had about the future, about what they envisioned for their life together. Something of which seems like a very distant memory now as he looks back. "Of course we agreed to wait, that it would be to soon, especially with our work and yet... here you are, with a baby on the way." 

Whether it was his intention or otherwise, his words hold an underlining hint of accusation. 

She narrows her eyes in irritation, her tone clipped. "It wasn't planned, Ronnie. Sometimes these things just happen for whatever reason." 

"I never figured you to be the reckless type, you were always sure to take precautions before." 

The dig is plain, because she had been cautious. Caitlin covers her frown with her mug, focusing to keep her cool. "As I said, these things happen even to the most cautious of people." 

He nods, seeming to accept her words for the truth they are but he doesn't look satisfied. Taking a moment, he glances to the floor then back to her, in the brief moment it took, his expression has closed off and become hard. 

It sets her on edge. So, they're now to the point where the real reason for his sudden appearance comes into play.

 _Oh_ _goody_...

"Can I ask you something?" 

"Of course," she readily agrees though there's a feeling of underlining wariness, it grows when he pauses. Fuck, what is he about to hit her with now? "Is the question really that bad?" 

Ronnie shrugs nonchalantly, as if it isn't really a big deal when it clearly is, otherwise he wouldn't be as hesitant to ask. "That depends on if you answer with the truth." 

This time she doesn't bother to hide her frown or her growing irritation. "I've never lied to you Ronnie, never. So I'm not about to suddenly start now." 

Her ex fiancé stares back at her... and then the question comes. "When we were together, did you have--"

He doesn't even have the opportunity to proceed further because she stops him. Her hand lifts as if to physically stop the words from reaching her. 

A mixture of feelings rush through her. Anger and hurt, irritation and exasperation. Clearly this man didn't know her as well as she thought, not if he's honestly standing before her asking what she assumes he is. But to be one hundred percent clear, she asks for clarification. "Are you seriously asking me if I had feelings for him or if anything ever happened while we were together?" 

Ronnie clenches his jaw, his eyes boring into hers. His answer comes without hesitation. "Yes," he tells her simply. 

_Oh fuck that._

It takes everything within her not to jump up, offer him a polite fuck you before walking away. Somehow she manages to resist the temptation to do exactly that. Instead she gives him a long hard look that says it all but just in case he doesn't quite grasp it, she tells him too. "During our relationship, I loved you and I was faithful to you. From the very beginning. It's hurtful to hear you question it, to know you think I'm capable of doing something such as that." 

If her furious rebuttal effects him he doesn't show it. "It's a valid question. You worked closely with him, all hours of the day and night. It's only fair that I get to question it, given the circumstances." 

"It's fair..." 

"Yes, it is." 

Her hand tightens around the mug when she has a sudden need to hurl it at him. She doesn't of course, being a mature adult . Instead, she takes a steadying breath. It seems like all she's done the past few days is defend herself. Which when you think about it, is completely ridiculous because she hasn't done anything wrong. Now it seems different, because she never for a moment imagined she would have to explain herself to Ronnie. Of all people. 

But then, they're two very different people to who they once were. Overlooking where they are now, maybe she didn't know him as well as she thought back then, not if he thinks her capable of such things. 

"I just want to know." 

"You shouldn't even have to ask," she tells him quietly. "Like I have always been, I will again be honest. If I felt anything at all, it-- the man we thought him to be, Dr Wells, his work was brilliant and remarkable, and being the science nerd I am, I think maybe I developed a crush based on that. _Based_ _upon_ _his_ _work_." She explains carefully but to the point. She's getting rather fed up of having to defend and explain herself. In what part of this scenario did she become the fucking bad guy? "Like a celebrity if you will. I didn't know the man behind the work, _Harrison_ , I didn't know him until much later when you were gone." 

"Clearly I wasn't."

"Which I didn't know!" She exclaims loudly. "To be frank, it's rather an ass move on your part to hold any of it against me. You died, I grieved Ronnie and eventually, I moved on because life moves on. I won't apologise for it, to you or to anyone." 

Caitlin turns her gaze away, refusing to look at him any further than necessary. 

He seems to finally grasp he's been an ass to her but still offers no apology. When it feels like she won't respond any further, he continues, "I'm going to stay to help but once it's done, I'm going to leave. I don't know where I'm going or what I'm going to do but I can't stay here." 

Yeah, there's a lot of the same feeling going around lately. That she can agree upon. 

Caitlin sighs, another thing to add to her list to be guilty about even if she shouldn't. "Listen Ronnie, I'm really sorry. I know none of this is probably what you expected to come home to..." 

"Yeah." 

"I wish there was more I could say but I can't. I am sorry if I hurt you but it was unintentional and I wish only the best for you in whatever you decide to do in future. I hope you believe that."

Ronnie nods and aburptly that's that. All to quick it appears he's done with whatever he wanted to say and ask because he pushes himself away from the window. "I'll leave you to you peace," he injects shortly as he moves to the descending steps, where he originally came from. He pauses on the top step. "Take good care of each other." He offers and then he's gone, as suddenly as he appeared. 

"We will." 

Her words fill the silence of the empty stairwell as her eyes stray to the city beyond the window. With her free hand, she covers her stomach and the tiny life held within. It's with a feeling of disbelief that this is now her life, the man she loves with every fibre of her being not who she thought, the man she used to love who died, who she grieved for, truly didn't know her after all. Guilt shouldn't pay any part and from this moment on it won't. 

Instead, she'll focus upon the good. The baby, _their baby._

No matter what's to come or what they face, that will remain her sole priority. 

Tbc.... 


	7. Runaway

For the second time in as many days, Caitlin finds herself sat on the ramp leading up into the pipeline. Only this time there are differences, she isn't crying which to be frank is an achievement in itself and the barrier remains up because there's no cell, instead in it's place is the open entrance to the pipeline. Their prisoner who is free and inside, is currently being guarded by Joe and Cisco as he awaits his opportunity to return to his home in the future. Just like he always planned. Barry at this point, is currently travelling back in time to the past, ready to utilise the give chance to save his mother. 

None of what's currently happening plays on her mind, it's there of course, buried at the back the full knowledge of what's currently taking place. It just isn't at the forefront of her mind. No, against her will whether she wants to relive them or not, memories of their time together has her attention captivated.

It has been beyond a struggle to turn off her mind, to shelter herself away from the memories which bring so much hurt because their filled with nothing but good... 

_...Outside the never ending windows that make up his home, big fat fluffy snowflakes fall from the darkened sky to the ground, covering it in a thin layer of white. Inside, the expensive and rather extravagant fireplace roars, flames crackling as they warm and light up the vast open space._

_Across the room from the fire, stretched out along the large white couch under an equally white throw blanket, she curls into his side with a sigh of content. With her head pillowed upon his chest, she idly draws random patterns across his skin. Her eyes flutter as his fingers sooth through her hair, relaxing her even further if at all possible. Her body feels like a puddle of jello._

_Nights like this have become her favourite because it's quiet and comfortable, the fire makes it feel cosy in spite of the cold and rather clinical decor of the house._

_Adding to the cosiness is the man she's curled into, despite the roaring fire and despite the fact he's naked, he feels like a furnace and she can't help but press herself closer. Turning her head she rests her chin so she's able to look up at him. Fingertips trace over the lines of his face, down his cheeks and along his jaw. She's just about to open her mouth when her stomach suddenly makes itself known. Loudly._

_Her eyes widen comically and he starts to smile, a boyish grin that reaches his eyes and serves to make her stomach flip. Oh._

_"Was that..."_

_As if to answer for her before he's even finished his sentence, her stomach grumbles again._

_How mortifying to be laying here in the aftermath of some rather intense sex._ _"Oh God," she mutters, except this time it isn't from pleasure but rather embarrassment._

_His boyish grin slips away and his eyes narrow._

_Oh no. A clear sign she's in trouble._

_"Did you eat today?"_

_"Of course I did," she answers far to quickly._

_The look he gives her is simple, he wants the details._

_Shifting against him, Caitlin sighs dramatically just for effect. "Pizza pockets, an apple and coffee, a lot of coffee." She admits but then rushes to add, "but in my defence, it was a very busy day."_

_Harrison rolls his eyes. "You have to take the time to eat."_

_"I know," she sounds contrite. "I'll try to do better."_

_"Hmm," he hums in response like he doesn't really believe her at all. He motions for her to move so he's able to do the same._

_Her eyes follow his naked form as he effortlessly moves from the couch to his chair._

_"Where are you going?" It's almost a whine as she sits back, watching him lean down to pick up his discarded sweater from the floor. She easily catches it when he playfully throws it at her face._

_"Put that on. You'll need to answer the door."_

_"Answer the door--" she repeats, "what for?"_

_"I'm calling in for takeout before the snow becomes an issue." He picks up his phone from the table. "Chinese okay?" When she nods, he dials the number. "Besides, someone has to make sure you eat."_

_She rolls her eyes, quickly slipping on the sweater as he phones in their order. She gets up to move to his side, sitting in his lap as he requests their favourite foods. Her lips press against his jaw, hoping her attentions serve to distract him._

_When he hangs up, he blindly drops the phone back to its resting place. She hears a distracted murmur of fifteen minutes before he kisses her._

_When she eventually pulls away, her hands still cup his face before moving to slip into his hair, cradling his head. "You remembered my favourites."_

_"I remember everything," he sweetly replies back..._

...As the memory slips away, her only thought is he isn't alone because she remembers everything too. Every single moment they shared from conversation and pleasure, to movie nights and laughter. This is another shining moment to highlight her luck with relationships, it's disastrous and it makes her wonder if she should vow to never date again. It's an idea with merit. 

Another memory slips forward to push aside any lingering thoughts of the last... 

_...Exiting the hall which leads from the master bedroom, heels dangle from her fingertips as she walks through the house. She's feeling good this morning, despite the late retreat to bed the night before. Freshly showered and dressed, she's ready for the day ahead. Walking to the kitchen, her bare feet make barely a sound against the heated tile and it allows her the infrequent opportunity to observe the man who comes into her eyeline._

_Harrison sits quietly at the dining room table, dishes set out before him but breakfast isn't what holds his attention, instead it's this morning's newspaper folded in one hand with a pen in the other. The concentration on his face is adorable as he works his way through the clues of the crossword. It's amusing how he sets forth to accomplish even the simplest of tasks with such seriousness._

_Closing the gap which remains, she brushes her hand along his shoulder in greeting. "Good morning."_

_His beautiful blue eyes, bright in the morning's sunlight streaming through the windows, meet her own. "Good morning," he repeats back, motioning with the hand holding the pen to the table before them. "I made you breakfast."_

_"Thank you," she says offering him a grateful smile. She scrutinises said breakfast laid before her. A bowl of granola with greek yogurt, accompanied by fresh blueberries, raspberries and strawberries. There's also orange juice and coffee. Clearly he's trying to make sure she at least has a good breakfast to start the day. "This looks so good, I didn't realise how hungry I was." Picking up her spoon, she digs in._

_He rolls his eyes and chooses not to remark on her amazing ability to not eat throughout the day. "How did you sleep?"_

_"Very well," she replies after swallowing a strawberry. "Thanks to you."_

_Harrison smirks at the reminder of the night before, his attention though stays focused upon the crossword. "I live to serve."_

_It's her turn to roll her eyes at his sheer arrogance but then, it's rightfully deserved. The man just has a way of doing things and he's relentless and focused upon delivering and my God, he doesn't disappoint. She could barely feel her legs this morning, her body aches but in the very best way. She sometimes wonders how she would survive if things were different, if he's able to turn her into a sated mess now with his disability, she can only imagine what it would be like if he was able bodied. Walking would definitely be a problem._

_Caitlin hadn't realised she'd drifted off while eating her breakfast until his hand closes around her wrist._

_"Are you alright?"_

_"Yes, of course. Why?"_

_"You just look a little flushed."_

_"Oh," she mutters and of course, the blush deepens further. "I was just thinking... about last night."_

_Harrison pulls on her hand and she moves from her seat into his lap. His hand cups her face and he kisses her. He tastes like coffee and mint from his toothpaste, he smells good too. He bites her lower lip playfully when he pulls away. "Mind out of the gutter, Dr Snow."_

_"Of course, Dr Wells."_

_She doesn't bother to get up, instead stays where she is in his lap and looks down at his nearly completed crossword. Her eyes scan the clues to see one he's missed. "Number four, ten across, Rick Grimes." Picking up the discarded pen, she fills in the squares. At the questioning expression on his face, she shrugs. "I watched the first season with Cisco." Another missed clue draws her eye. "Number two, five down. Prada." Again, the pen moves with ease to fill in the squares._

_A playful scowl slips across his handsome features. "Okay, that's enough. Get your own crossword, this one is mine."_

_Caitlin smiles in amusement and kisses his cheek. Leaving his embrace, she returns to her own chair and her breakfast._

_A comfortable silence falls over the kitchen as she finishes her up the last of her fruit and he completes his crossword. Well almost..._

_"So..."_

_"So?...."_

_He stares her down then huffs as he hands over the paper and she sees one remaining clue unanswered. With an insufferable ease, she fills in the squares._

_Harrison grunts while reaching for his coffee, refusing to acknowledge that for the third morning in a row, he's failed to complete CCPN's crossword without her help._

_"Maybe you'll have better luck tomorrow," she teases, leaning across to kiss him gently to placate him...._

...She's startled out of her trip down memory lane, by Ronnie as he unexpectedly bursts through the pipeline entrance. 

"What's wrong?" 

"We need to shut down the generator, now."

Immediately she gets to her feet to assist, not even batting an eye when Ronnie is flung violently across the room to focused upon the task. How times have indeed changed. With seconds to spare she succeeds in shutting it down, only then does she turn to check on Ronnie. "You okay over there?" 

From his place crumpled on the floor, he groans. "I'm fine." 

But what obviously isn't is what's occurring down in the pipeline. Raised voices can be heard and she darts through the doorway and down the steps without further thought. The sight that greets her isn't at all like they planned for. The time machine or sphere or whatever the hell Cisco is calling it after he built it, now lies in shattered pieces. Cisco and Joe lie sprawled across the floor as the air around them lights up in a mix of red and yellow lightning. Quickly she checks on the men upon the floor, glad to see they're okay.

Caitlin stands up in time to see Harrison push Barry against a wall, screaming at him that he will kill him then kill them all. His hand is raised and vibrating, ready to strike down Barry at any second. 

God this is all happening far too quickly for her liking and she hasn't a moment to just stop and think. Every second counts. Something needs to be done to end this. 

So despite _his_ threat to kill them all, Caitlin steps towards him, unfazed and unconcerned. He won't hurt her. "Harrison, stop! _Please_." 

For a fraction of a second she doubts he will. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Eddie draw his weapon and she raises her hand to wave him away. Despite her initial doubt, her words have the desired effect because the Reverse Flash lowers his hand and staggers back away from Barry, who's bloody and slumped against the wall. He's taken a beating. 

The man in the yellow suit turns to her. 

"Stop, please." 

And because he's focused solely upon her, even with his speed, he isn't one step ahead to see Joe get to his feet to join Eddie, both standing with guns raised levelled in their direction. The first bullet hits his right thigh piercing through the leather, the second hits his left shoulder. He roars in anger, his eyes shine bright red and before she even realises what's happening, she's in his arms as he speeds them away. They don't get very far, just outside the building in the car lot. His speed wanes as his connection to the speed force once again falters. 

Blood seeps through to stain his yellow suit. 

She swallows hard against the urge to help him, her hands itch to apply pressure to his wounds. Despite everything she knows, she can't turn off her feelings as easy as a light switch. She loves him still, _Harrison_ , the man she thought she knew. The man who's still in there somewhere. A part of her always will, there's no way around that. Stepping into him, her hands press hard against his left shoulder, red seeping through to stain her pale skin. "This is your last chance to go," she tells him softly. Surprised the others haven't come barrelling out the main doors by now in pursuit of them. "You need to go." 

"Come with me." 

For a fraction of a second the offer is tempting but Caitlin shakes her head. Tears burn the backs of her eyes as she looks at him. She wants to runaway with him. "No." A tear slips free, trailing a path down her cheek. "No, I can't. My life is here. What we had--" she pushes at his chest, this time in a gesture that screams _go_. "It ends here." 

He reaches out, his hand coming to rest against her still flat stomach, above where the life they created rests. "It will never end. You carry a part of me." 

_"I_ can't come with you _." Even though I..._

"We can be together, the three of us. I can give you whatever you want," he rasps, sounding very much in pain. "Everything." 

"You can't," she replies, her voice breaking and the dam of tears break. "Because you took it all away."

"I never meant to hurt you." 

She pushes at his chest again. 

" _Caitlin_." 

"No. You need to go and you need to not come back. Ever." 

It's apparent that there's no argument to be had, this is her decision and if he's honest, he never expected anything different. Because Caitlin is good and humane but he had to try. While there's fury racing through his veins, his heart is heavy with sadness. 

She's his one true weakness, the one thing he could never deny himself. 

Understanding this is the end for now, he steps forward into her space and kisses her. It's soft and lingering with a hint of desperation. He wants more than anything for her to go with him...

When he pulls away, her eyes are filled with such sadness. "I love you too, you know." He whispers before he's gone, disappearing in a flash of red light. 

On the last two occasions where they spoke, it had been her who had left leaving behind a bombshell confession. This time he took the opportunity for himself. Repeating her own words back to her. 

When the team find her seconds later, her tears continue to flow freely. Her one hand covers her mouth as the other, covered in his blood rests upon her stomach. When Cisco reaches her side, she falls easily into his embrace. 

Her best friend holds her close and tight, comforting her as her heart breaks once again.

He's gone and he's not coming back. 

It's over.

Tbc


	8. Next Step

He's gone and he's isn't coming back. 

A reality she has to come to terms with, but it isn't easy or straightforward. Caitlin carries it with her, every minute of every hour of every day. 

And it's only been two days since he kissed her last, expressed his love for her, then disappeared in a flash of red lightening like she instructed him to do. A part of her broken soul wanted to accept his plea to go with him but it wasn't a viable option. They could never have a normal life together, not like this baby deserved. Not like she deserved even. But the priority is this baby who deserves love and stability, the former is an absolute guarantee while the latter is anything but. It could never be an enjoyable life, having to always look over your shoulder and wonder when the game will be up. That was no way to live. Which is why she told him no, despite how tempting it was and how much it hurt to watch him go, weak and covered in blood. 

Wherever he is, whatever he's doing, she hopes he's safe and well. Maybe it makes her a bad person for wishing so but feelings cannot be turned on and off like a light switch. 

In the two days since he disappeared, since Barry had returned from the past having made the decision not to save his mother, since the singularity, since Ronnie had died again, she hasn't stepped foot inside the lab. Until now. Instead, the time had been used to process everything which had happened, which will remain an ongoing course of action for the foreseeable future. There's too much to deal with in such a short amount of time. 

During the time taken, a phone call had been placed to Mercury Labs where she accepted Dr McGee's job offer. Her new position is available to start next week and she's looking forward to it, because it will serve as a distraction. Another thing accomplished had been a trip to her doctor's office. The appointment itself had been a blur of information and conversation, and she'd come away with a handful of pamphlets and prenatal vitamins. The only part which stood out had been the scan. As soon as the blurry image appeared on the screen tears fell and it hit her like a freight train. 

Upon the monitor is their baby and he isn't here to see it.

After the appointment, she returned home in a daze. Almost immediately after closing the door behind her, she curled up on the couch with the print out in hand and fell apart. Tears ran free and she didn't move, staying there wrapped in a throw blanket until this morning. 

The energy had been found to drag herself up, to shower and to dress. She'd forced herself to eat, more so for the baby then for herself, before heading out for the lab.

Now, she finds herself in the med bay, taking comfort in the silence and the lack of people around. It's still early which explains why no one is in yet. It allows her not to rush. 

Caitlin takes her time moving throughout the room, sorting through an abundance of files, papers and books. There's personal items along with two spare sets of clothes for emergencies. She moves slowly between the three large boxes upon her desk, taking her time to fill them, which is proving easy to do. It seems she has accumulated for more stuff here than she realised or anticipated. So much so, another box may be required. 

After carefully folding a faded Star Labs sweatshirt she refuses to part with into the box, she drops down into her chair and yanks open the last drawer. Her heart sinks faster than the Titanic as she stares into it. A copy of Jane Austin's Sense and Sensibility rests innocently inside, the book unable to understand its effect upon her heart. The book had been a gift from Harrison, for her birthday, a kind gesture after she mentioned her love for the book and her upset of misplacing her copy in college. With a delicate touch, she reaches in to pick it up, then cradles it in her palms. How long she stares at the cover is anyone's guess before she finally opens it. Her eyes find the words she knew to be there. 

_Caitlin, wishing you the happiest of birthdays, Harrison._

Eyes trace over the neat script of his handwriting, her thumb brushes his name. _Harrison_. Tears fill her eyes and she has to close the hardback. Some would say it's simply a book but to her, it isn't, and despite how much it aches, the thought of parting with it is unbearable.

So it joins the rest of her belongings in the boxes, settling upon the neatly folded sweatshirt. 

About to sort through the remaining contents of the drawer, a soft knock at the open door draws her attention. Cisco. He looks guilty as if he's intruding and she's waves him in with a weak smile. 

"You're here early," he comments, as he takes a seat beside her. 

"I'm always early unlike some," she points out. It's barely eight. "Same could be said for you." 

Cisco shrugs, looking away to her desk. "Haven't been getting much sleep." 

Yes, that is something she can definitely relate to right about now. 

"I tried calling you but.." 

"I didn't answer." 

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," he pauses, "which is stupid now that I think about it." 

Caitlin shakes her head. "It isn't stupid, it shows you care and that means a great deal to me." It really does now more than ever. "I'm sorry I didn't answer your calls."

He waves her apology away. "I get it, I just..." he asks then what he really means too. "How are you?" 

If it were anyone else she would lie and give the 'I'm fine' response, but Cisco isn't anyone, he's her best friend and like a brother. So honesty it is. "I'm not fine. I'm upset and angry, confused and scared, everything I thought my life was, simply isn't." 

"It's okay to feel like that, Caitlin." 

"I know," she replies, "but it isn't easy." 

"I was gonna come over and check in but I figured you wanted to be alone."

"I just needed some time, to sort and figure a few things out." 

"Is everything okay?" 

Caitlin offers him a reassuring smile which falls short of the mark. "I wanted to be alone and I called Dr McGee to accept her offered position. And I-I had to see my doctor."

Cisco's face falls. "So you really are leaving." 

"I am. I start next week." 

"Is there anything I can say to change your mind?" 

"No," she tells him regretfully, her heart aching further. "This is the right choice." 

As much as he wants to argue, he doesn't, instead he accepts her decision and supports her. "The doctor? All's good, right?" He asks somewhat delicately, afraid he's broaching a touchy subject. 

"It was a check up. The doctor says everything looks good. The baby is healthy and on track." She stops then hesitantly asks, "I have a picture if you'd like to see?" 

Cisco doesn't hesitate. "Of course." 

In that single, simple moment of him agreeing, she's never loved her best friend more, because her life wasn't the only one effected by _his betrayal_. Cisco had been killed in another timeline and here he is, showing enthusiasm for the baby of the man who did it. This moment speaks of his great character, of the man he is. 

Caitlin reaches for her purse and easily finds the treasured print out. She hands it over. 

Cisco accepts the offered picture then stares down at it, trying to make it out. A moments pause follows as he scrutinises the image. "It's-- a grey blob, Caitlin. No offense." 

For the first time in days, a genuine laugh escapes her. She shifts forward so she's able to point out features. "That's the head and the legs. At this point, the blob can curl it's toes and it's roughly three inches long." 

"Three inches..." he mutters, "girl that's crazy." 

"You're telling me. That three inch blob induces some serious morning sickness." 

Cisco hands back the image, watching as she scrutinises it, a smile on her face, her fingers brushing over it. Since they found out about her pregnancy and the truth of her relationship, something has been playing on his mind. "Caitlin?" 

"Hmm?" Her attention never wavers from the first image of her child. 

"Do you... I don't know if it's something you've thought of but-- the baby, it's Dr Wells'." 

Caitlin drags her eyes to his, levelling him with a look that is a mixture of _what are you talking about?_ and _that isn't funny._

"When Thawne killed... " he abruptly stops when she grimaces. "He used a genetic camouflage device which rewrote his DNA, to Dr Wells' DNA." 

The knowledge those words hold, told by Cisco, hits her hard. This child is harrison's. Considering the circumstances, she never thought or gave much consideration to the biology side of this, which is ridiculous considering her profession. To consumed with her broken heart. 

"Harrison." 

"Yeah." 

"It's Harrison's." Relief floods her, she looks to her best friend. "I know you don't understand, I mean--" 

But Cisco interrupts. "Caitlin, I get it. You had a relationship with this man, you fell in love with Dr Wells and you're having his baby. Yes, there's a bigger picture here that's messy but it isn't black and white. There's a massive grey area and even he said it when in the cell, he doesn't know where one ends and the other begins. Maybe the side you got really was Dr Wells and--"

"I love him, Cisco." The confession comes as a choked whisper. 

Her best friend sighs heavily and covers her hands. "I know you do and it's okay. There's no rules here to guide you and tell you how you should feel. No one can or should tell you that."

She guesses that is a reference to Barry, which she refuses to think of anymore than she already has. It would be easier if she didn't feel how she does but... she does. "I'm sorry." 

"No. You have to stop apologising." His heart is heavy as she cries. "It's okay, you're gonna be okay and so is the blob." 

Oh poor baby, it seems the name blob has stuck. 

Caitlin falls easily into his arms when he pulls her into him for a hug. "I just wanted to be happy, to have something good." 

And just like that she breaks his heart further. "You can and you will. This blob will change your life." 

"Stop calling it that to make me laugh." 

"Can't blame a guy for trying." 

They take a moment, Cisco offering whatever comfort he's able to offer the woman in his arms. 

A sudden though occurs to Caitlin. "The baby, will it have his speed?"

Cisco pulls back and contemplates that, it's an interesting thought. "It's possible, I haven't done research on it but yeah, it's possible." 

"How am I supposed to chase after a kid with superspeed?" 

"You'll have to ditch your heels." 

Caitlin rolls her eyes. "I was hoping for something a little more scientific." 

"We'll figure it out." 

It takes barely a second for them to remember she won't be here tomorrow or the day after or the day after that. She's leaving and the boxes full of her belongings upon the desk is a harsh reminder of that. Something Cisco had steadily ignored until now. 

"I wish you'd stay." 

Caitlin bites her lower lip. "It's better this way." 

"Better for who?" 

"For everyone," she tells him gently. "People have been through enough." 

"So have you." 

"This is the right decision and I'll be honest with you, I think-- Barry could barely look at me Cisco. I can't risk..." 

"Do you think he'd spite a baby for who it's father is?" 

"I want to say no but Barry, he's never been reasonable, he reacts with his emotions rather than with his head where the Reverse Flash is concerned." She hates having to explain. "I can't put an innocent baby in that position and I shouldn't have too." 

"You shouldn't have to leave either." 

Caitlin chooses not to respond to that, knowing he's right. 

The hard thing about this is her reasoning is perfectly valid. Barry has on more than one occasion reacted without thought, his emotions clouding rational thought. But it's Barry, could he really be capable of something like that? To a child? He doesn't know. What he does know is he accepts her decision. "I need you to know that even though he stabbed me through the heart in another time line, I don't hold any hard feelings, to -- you know -- the blob." 

"I appreciate you saying so." 

Cisco nods and decides the heavy talking is over for now. She looks exhausted and barely hanging on. So he gestures to the boxes. "Need a hand?"

Caitlin shakes her head. "I've got it but thank you. Though if you are around later, I may need a hand to the car." 

"Just yell when you require some muscle," he teases before sobering, "and not just to carry some boxes. Anything. Just because you won't be working here doesn't mean I won't be around. I'll always be here, for whatever you need." 

Tears crash into her pretty hazel eyes. "Thank you Cisco." 

Watching him walk away, a weight lifts at his continued support. She isn't alone, not really.

Gazing at the image of her child still in hand, she covers her stomach with the other. "We'll be just fine, you and I. I promise." 

Out in the cortex, with a backward glance to make sure Caitlin is still occupied in the med bay, Cisco sends a short and simple message to Barry. 

_Caitlin - fix it._

It takes a little while but two weeks later, Caitlin looks up from her microscope in her fancy new lab, to discover Barry sheepishly standing in the doorway. The expression on his face says it all but he says the words anyway. 

An apology and a plea to come home. 

Tbc.   



	9. The Arrival

_Twenty seven weeks later..._

It's been thirteen hours since the first contraction suddenly ripped through her, while standing in the cortex as she calmly directed Barry through the city in pursuit of their suspect, much to Cisco's horror. It's been seven hours since she entered active labour, leaning against the elevator wall with Iris by her side as she called to inform the boys that the time has arrived to go to hospital. The blob wishes to make an appearance. It's been six hours and thirty-five minutes since she was checked in and wheeled down the hall into her expensive delivery suite at Central City hospital. 

It had come as a surprise when the nurse had informed them, a private maternity suite had been booked in advance for her arrival. When questioned the lady behind the desk had no information other than it was paid for anonymously two months ago. 

Caitlin had looked to Iris and they both knew instantly where the anonymous gesture had come from, even without saying it. Protests had wanted to be made but Iris was quick to point out being allowed privacy and quiet in a moment like this was not an option to be squandered. So she didn't. 

Which is where they find themselves still, six hours later. The maternity suite is big and spilt into two sections. On one side, a bed rests with all kinds of medical equipment needed to bring a tiny life into the world, on the other is a plush seating area with a sofa and chairs, a table and TV on the wall. There's also an en-suite bathroom which is an added bonus. Floor to ceiling windows cover the wall to the left of the bed, giving a beautiful view out over the city. 

The nurse attending to her now after a shift change, an older woman by the name of Maureen, had left not long ago having conducted another check. Six centimeters dilated. Progress is slow but it's going. The room is quiet except for the radio playing low in the background and Caitlin takes the moment between contractions to finally eat something. As she works her way through a chicken salad, propped up in bed by the mountain of pillows behind her, she looks down at Iris at the foot. The other woman has a frown on her face as she stares at the paper. 

"What's wrong? Is there something bad in the news?" 

"No." Iris looks up and shakes her head, clearly annoyed. "Nothing, just... these crosswords can be really hard. I didn't realise a PhD was required to complete one." She says, glancing get down at the puzzle in question. "Here, you have a PhD see if you can get the ones remaining."

Something so simple and stupid but it makes her tense and she shakes her head. "No." 

One single word laced with so much sharpness, that it makes Iris look up at her inquisitive in reply. 

Caitlin sighs heavily, immediately feeling guilty for snapping at her friend over something so ridiculous. "I'm sorry, it's-- it's stupid but... we used to do them together in the morning over breakfast. It use to annoy him when I filled in the clues he couldn't answer." 

Iris' face falls at inadvertently being up a painful memory. "Oh. I'm sorry I didn't mean--" 

"I know you didn't, don't apologise." 

Iris is about to reply when Caitlin tenses again, her face twisting with pain as the monitor spikes beside the bed, alerting a strong contraction. It feels like it lasts far longer than it actually does. 

Her fingers ease their grip on the bed rail when it passes. "Oh God." 

"Are you okay?" 

"That-- that was the worst so far." 

"Should I go call the nurse?" 

Caitlin shakes her head. "Not yet." She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, just in need of a moment. 

Before any more can be said, the door to the suite opens to allow Cisco and Barry to stroll in. An abundance of balloons mark their arrival, the majority blue but there's also one marked _congratulations_ and two shaped as a lion and a giraffe. 

Barry proudly drops the weighed down balloons in the corner of the room, a gift bag in his other hand is then handed over to Caitlin. 

"I take it you hit up the hospital gift shop?" Iris asks, looking between the two with obvious amusement. 

"We did and the bookstore," he replies holding up another bag, the proceeds to hand both women a magazine each. Cosmopolitan and Vogue. 

Caitlin peeks into the bag then pulls out a soft red blanket, covered in the symbol of the Flash. She looks to the man who inspired such a design. 

"It's an appropriate gift for our newest member. A little welcome to team Flash." 

Caitlin blinks at him then smiles sincerely. Who would have thought this would be her reality right now, during labour. She sure wouldn't months ago when she had left to work at Mercury labs, to upset and confused and worried Barry wouldn't be able to see passed his emotions and his anger to accept the baby without seeing the sins of it's father.

How things have changed. 

She looks to the vast amount of balloons in the corner. "And those?" 

"The balloons are appropriate too." 

"Hmm." Turning to Cisco, her eyes widen and she's about to question what the _fuck_ is that he's holding when a contraction ripples through her again. They seem to be coming quicker and far stronger. She breathes through it like she was instructed in her classes then once she's sure it's passed, her sharp eyes focus again in Cisco's direction. "What is _that_?" 

"What's what?" 

Caitlin points to the object now placed on one of the plush chairs. "That." 

"Oh that, well..." Cisco says nonchalantly, "it's a dinosaur." 

"I can see that. Why is it here?" 

Cisco shrugs, looking innocent. "It's for the baby." 

Caitlin rolls her eyes. "Since when does a baby need a four foot dinosaur?" 

"Well technically it doesn't _need_ it but, you know, I think it's cute."

"It is cute," Iris injects in support, looking over at the huge green plush dinosaur. 

"Right and dinosaurs are cool. Really cool. Have you seen Jurassic Park? The first one? Super cool film." He rambles losing his thread a little. "Every kid needs a dinosaur." 

"I get it, it's cool." Caitlin stabs a cherry tomatoes rather viciously. "Yeah but didn't they have a smaller version? Does it need to be four foot?" 

"Yes, they had smaller versions. But Caitlin--" her best friend replies matter-of-factly, dropping down onto the sofa with an air of finality. "Dinosaurs are big, hence the size." 

The mother-to-be looks less than impressed at the prospect of finding a home for the dinosaur in the nursery at home. 

"Massive dinosaur aside which by the way, I tried to talk him out of buying..."

"Did not." 

Barry ignores him and continues on, "How are things going? Any progress?" 

"We're at six centimeters dilated, contractions are coming a little faster and stronger but there's still awhile to go. The nurse said she'll be back in a half hour to check again." 

Barry pales a little at the reminder of the examination he accidently walked in on three hours ago. 

Caitlin smirks as she watches him retreat across the room, to drop down beside Cisco who's surfing through the TV channels in search of something to watch. Clearly their settling in for a long wait, especially when Cisco reveals a bag of snacks almost of of thin air. 

Right now this is exactly what she needs, her close friends around her as she experiences one of the most important and life changing events she'll ever experience. It's hard though, because there's a feeling of something missing and she knows exactly what, _who_ , that is. 

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

Right now all she needs is to get this baby out because _fuck_ , it hurts. Like really, really fucking hurts. She should have accepted the drugs when she had the chance. 

It's been twenty-one minutes since Barry and Cisco had fled the room. Twenty minutes since her legs took their place in stirrups, one hand curled around the bed rail, the other gripping poor Iris' hand so tight but the other woman just smiles in support. Sweat has drenched the oversized Star labs t-shirt she's wearing and she probably looks a mess because she's exhausted and in pain and a fucking emotional wreck. 

"I can't-- I can't do this." 

"Yes, you can. You're doing brilliantly, okay." Iris soothes her hand over her friend's hair, as she takes a moment between contractions. "Just take deep breathes." 

Caitlin tries to do exactly that but it's hard, the ache in her chest she's tried so hard to ignore is almost a rival to the pain ripping through her. Tears escape her eyes with no effort and it must be plain across her exhausted features. 

"I know, I know okay." Iris says softly, squeezing her hand as she wipes away the tears. "You want him here and that's okay too."

"I do- I need..." Pain catches her breath. "I need him, I need-- oh fuck." Her entire body feels like it's on fire, heat coursing through her veins as pain rips through her again and again. This is never happening again, ever. 

The doctor between her legs looks up at her and nods, an encouraging smile on her face. "Big push Caitlin." 

Caitlin grits her teeth and bares down, pushing as hard as she possibly can. A harsh cry escapes her throat at the effort it takes, at the pain. 

"Wonderful Caitlin," the doctor says, a kind woman in her early fifties. "Now take a moment to just breath, in and out, deep and slow. That's it, in and out. Now I can see the head, one more push like that again and his head will be free. So on the next contraction, ready..." 

She takes in a fortifying deep breath and as the next one hits, she pushes. Her legs tremble from the effort and pain radiates from between her thighs. _Fuck, holy fuck_. 

"Head is free." The doctor doesn't look up, instead remains focused as the two nurses ready themselves beside her. "On this next one, I want you to push more slowly, nice and slow and allow him to slip free. Nice and slow on the next contraction, Caitlin." 

Caitlin takes long, deep breaths and tries to stay calm. Every muscle screams, every fibre of her being is tired and the energy required eludes her. 

"Hey, hey." Iris prompts her and she turns her attention to her friend. "You got this. One more time and it's over. You can meet your son." 

Her son, their son.... _Harrison_. He should be here for this. 

With a renewed lease of energy, she looks down at the doctor and nods. She feels it coming. 

"Go. Nice and slow." 

It hurts like _fucking_ _hell_ but when his angry cries fill the room, it's worth it. So totally worth it. 

She collapses back against the pillows, chest heaving from the exertion. 

"Here he is, mom." The doctor happily announces. "Meet your son," she says as she places him carefully on Caitlin's chest. 

_Oh_.

He's screaming his little head off, red face twisted with displeasure and he's covered in blood but he's the most gorgeous, precious little thing she's ever set eyes on. Fresh tears burst free as she looks down at him. This is her boy, their son. 

The doctor clamps the cord and Iris has the honor of cutting it. The baby is then taken to be cleaned up, weighed and measured. 

Her neck strains to keep her eyes on him, never once wavering, even when another contraction hits to result in a rush of blood and amniotic fluid leaving her. Absently a band with the details of the birth is placed on her wrist, a smaller matching one is placed around her son's tiny foot. Then her nurse, Maureen, lifts him up now he's been cleaned and wrapped up in a soft white blanket. 

"Ten fingers and ten toes. Seven pounds, six ounces. Twenty two inches long." 

Caitlin accepts this tiny human back into her eager arms with a watery, exhausted smile. Her fingers brush over his head now covered in an equally tiny white and blue stripped hat. Speechless is all there is to describe the moment. 

"Oh my God Caitlin, he's gorgeous!" 

Caitlin looks briefly up at Iris' excited observation. "I can't believe he's finally here." 

"You did so good. I can't believe-- that was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen." 

She huffs in amusement. "It hurt like hell but it's worth it. He's worth a thousand more hours of pain. I can't believe he's finally here." 

Iris looks toward the door. "I should go tell Barry and Cisco. They're probably pacing the floor."

Absently, Caitlin nods and her friend wanders away to deliver the news. 

The doctor explains the placenta needs to be delivered, her work nearly complete and it happens just before she nurses her son for the first time. His tiny lips lock onto her nipple as he eagerly sucks. It's a strange feeling but it forges a connection. She's feeding her son. Quietly, the doctor and nurses clean her and the room up and suddenly the delivery suite is void of everyone but mother and son. 

It's a brief moment of pause, welcome silence falling over the room as Caitlin stares at him. He's beautiful and he looks just like his father. Tears renew as she scrutinises him and her heart thuds in her chest when his eyes crack open to stare back at her. Completely and utterly mesmerised by this tiny life she holds close. 

"My beautiful boy," she murmurs, leaning to brush a soft kiss against his crown. 

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

Eventually, exhaustion had settled in deep to her very bones and sleep she couldn't fight anymore, came. The team had taken their leave hours ago leaving her to get some much needed rest, not before meeting the newest member of team flash of course. Now, said member rests sound asleep in his tiny bed beside the window. 

The room is dark and quiet, the floor to ceiling windows show the city alive at night. With tired eyes, she looks away from where her son rests peacefully, turning her head on her pillow to the otherside of the room. At first, the gigantic dinosaur catches her attention making her roll her eyes but then... something else. There's someone sat blanketed in darkness in the other chair. Even in the dark, she knows who it is. 

"You-- you came." 

The figure gets up and walks towards her, stepping into the dim light the lamp across from her bed offers. It illuminates his face enough to make out his soft smile. 

He stops at the foot of the bed, hands shoved deep into his pockets. He looks exactly the same as the last time she saw him, minus the yellow leather and blood gushing gunshot wounds. Even though the truth has been revealed, he'll always be _Harrison_ to her. The man she worked beside everyday, the man she fell in love with, the man she created life with... It's something not easily turned off and forgotten. 

"You're really here." 

He shifts on his feet unsure and the behaviour is contradictory of someone who's such a big, bad villain. 

"Yes, I needed to--" He stops and glances to the otherside of her. 

She follows his gaze to where their tiny son rests peacefully. Looking back to the man before her, she tilts her head in that direction. "Go ahead." 

His head snaps to her, eyes filled with uncertainty. "I--" 

"Go meet your son," she tells him softly, leaning back against the pillows to allow him this moment. 

Pretty hazel eyes follow him as he moves to where his son sleeps. The expression on his face nearly kills her when he sets his eyes on him for the first time. True and utter amazement. "Can I-- can I hold him?" 

"Of course." 

With gentle and tentative hands, father cradles son for the very first time. 

Tears burn her eyes as she watches him draw the tiny body against his chest before he moves to her side, sitting gingerly on the bed. His bright blue eyes never waver. 

"What's his name?" 

Caitlin bites her lip, brushing a finger down her son's tiny foot peeking from beneath the blanket. One small fist is wrapped around his father's finger. "Jacob Daniel Wells." 

He tenses for a fraction of a second, startled by the use of the last name and the connection it offers to connect father to son. He understands the reasoning and her choice. "It's a good, strong name." 

"It suits him well." 

He can't get over how beautiful this tiny life is, a life he created out of love with this equally stunning woman. Tearing his eyes away, he looks to her. "I'm so proud of you, Caitlin." 

Again, she bites her lip except this time it's to stop the sob that rushes up to escape. "It was so hard but... he's worth it." 

He nods. 

"Why did you come here tonight?" 

For a long while he's silent, his attention focused upon Jacob and she begins to think he won't answer. 

"It's been a long time since I last saw you and I-- I missed you. I missed you and I wanted to meet our child." 

Reaching out to him, she pulls at his sweater with fingers curling into the material and he goes easily. His mouth finds hers, kissing her softly with a hand cradling her head. It's just as it's always been, soft and slow, filled with love and a desperation for more. The sob buried down rushes out against his mouth as he holds her and their son close. When he eventually pulls away, his forehead rests upon hers. 

"You have to know how sorry I am." 

"I do but it doesn't make it hurt any less, because it really does, deeply." 

"I know," he whispers softly, the emotion familiar but made worse with the knowledge it's his fault. His thumb touches her lower lip in a gesture all to familiar. "I have to go." 

Tears stream down her face. "I know." Her head moves back so she's able to look at him, eyes tracing every detail of his handsome face, fingertips follow behind afterward. He passes Jacob carefully to her, bending to press a delicate his to the boy's head. Then he kisses her one more time. 

" _Harrison_." 

Blue eyes meet brown. "I love you both." And then he's gone. 

Red lightening all to quickly fades from the delivery suite. 

Caitlin holds Jacob close, tears of heartbreak course down her cheeks, the ache in her chest made worse when her son starts to cry. "I know, I know. I want him back too." 

Later, she'll find a soft brown and cream plush rabbit, with big floppy ears. Accompanying it, is a single yellow rose sat innocently upon the table. 

Apart from the memory, it's all the evidence that remains of his late night visit. 

The end.


	10. Like Old Times

_Two and a half years later..._

The parking lot outside of Dayton Optical Systems is dark, quiet and deserted... well partially deserted that is, considering their presence here. Once again, team Flash face another crisis, except this one is of a different variety. Nazis from another earth. It's still baffling the circumstances they find themselves surrounded by. A wedding ambushed by Nazis.... it's scary that situations such as this, is becoming the norm.

Caitlin lines up beside Barry, Cisco, Oliver and Kara. Across from them in the same stance are the leaders of the Earth X invaders and... _him_. 

When the reveal comes and she looks across at the unveiled faces of dark Oliver and Kara, they don't hold her attention for more than a surprised glance. No. Her attention is solely focused upon the man clad in yellow leather. 

His face, exactly as she remembers, stares right back at her. Nothing around them seeming to matter.

The weight of it knocks the air out of her lungs but somehow she manages to keep her expression void of emotion. She has her game face in place and she won't crumble. She isn't the same woman she once was. _No_. Now she's harder, stronger, braver and she's also a mother. 

"Hello sweetheart," he murmurs quietly, his voice changing to the tone he always reserved for when they were alone together. She won't deny it doesn't make her feel things, her mind remembers as well as her heart. "I've missed you."

Caitlin swallows hard as she continues to stare him down. Forcefully she pushes away any residue of feeling that his words conjure up. Allowing herself the weakness to feel what she still does at this moment isn't an option. So with a steadying breath, she instead allows Frost to take over to allow her this defence, her hair changes colour and cold runs through her veins. Now through ice cold blue eyes, she scrutinises him as his flicker of surprise quickly morphs into a smirk. 

"I see you've grown a little cold."

Slowly, a long spike of ice appears in her palm, fingers curling around it tightly. 

"Lets stay calm, shall we?" He holds up his hands in surrender but stares at her in utter fascination. "No need for any violence, my love." 

Barry looks from the woman at his side to the man opposite him, hoping to draw his attention away. "Thawne." 

"Direct from Earth-1. Just like old times, wouldn't you agree." He mocks, "do you like my face?" Reverse Flash waves a hand at himself. "Handsome." He smirks arrogantly, then suddenly seems to remember himself because the smirk quickly fades. His attention turns back to Caitlin, or rather Frost. "I apologise for that," he offers, knowing it to be a sore spot for her considering the circumstances. The last thing he wants to do is hurt her after so very long of not seeing her. Because it's so very good to see her. "How's our boy?" He asks softly, changing the subject. "Jacob." 

Barry and Cisco start at the fact Thawne knows about his son, knows his name even. 

At first Frost doesn't want to dignify him with an response, except she can't help herself, that part of Caitlin easily bleeding through. "He's smart, brilliant and beautiful. Kind, caring and funny." 

Thawne smiles and he seems genuinely pleased by her words. 

"Exactly the reverse of his father, wouldn't you say?" Barry adds, clearly hoping to taunt the older man. 

But he fails to provoke a reaction because Thawne rises above it for once. How surprising. "You told me that once, do you remember? I'm glad you were right but then you always are." 

In amongst the chaos they find themselves in, he sounds sincere in his curiosity regarding his son and in his affection for her. But the calm doesn't last. 

Because absently she hears Oliver mention Earth X's Tommy and his death and her attention turns away from the man opposite her to the happenings around them. The situation feels like it's about to deteriorate rather quickly. 

She isn't wrong.

"That's what this earth does, it makes people soft." Dark Oliver replies gravely in turn to his doppelganger. Looking disgusted at being faced with such weakness, at least in his eyes. 

"We've been watching you," Overgirl reveals to them, an air of superiority around her. "We've been watching all of you and how you squandered the potential of two worlds. On our earth, we've developed a meritocracy. We have accomplished greatness." 

"You're perverse," Kara declares to the reverse of herself, looking equally disgusted.

"No, Kara. _You're_ the perversion. The most powerful being on the planet, rendered weak by saccharine Americana. My pod was blessed to crash into the fatherland." Overgirl explains with a bored expression, like this, having to explain what should be obvious is beneath her. 

"Then go back there," Barry replies.

"This is not your earth. Leave." Oliver joins to direct, to make the intention clear. 

Dark Arrow looks far from impressed by the ultimatum. "I don't answer to the likes of you. My allegiance is to the fatherland... and to my wife." He looks to Overgirl at his side. 

Kara recoils, completely revolted. "His wife? Gross." She quickly glances to Oliver who's staring at her in much the same way. "No offence."

Caitlin wants to laugh at the absolute horror on Kara's face. Clearly that information is beyond unwelcome and a more than a little disturbing. It's no secret these two got off on the wrong foot and now to learn they're married on another earth... the coincidence is hilarious. 

"Last chance. Go home." 

"And stay there." 

"All of you," Barry draws a close to Oliver and Kara's directive, staring directing at the Reverse Flash. 

But it becomes obvious it's a directive which will not be followed. 

Her fingers tighten around the spike of ice in her palm as she scrutinises the scene. Her eyes narrow when Thawne turns to his partners in crime to issue a grave warning. 

"Remember. _Not her_. A single mark upon her and _I swear_ , your deaths will be far from quick." 

Then he tilts his head as he reaches behind him for his mask and then red lightening fills the airs, clashing with yellow as Barry gives chase. Her gaze follows, watching and distantly it registers that things have escalated rather quickly around her. 

Overgirl now has an arrow embedded in her shoulder and dark Oliver looks absolutely fucking furious. 

"Is that a kryptonite arrow? Why do you have a kryptonite arrow?" Kara demands as she looks in disbelief at Oliver, waiting for some kind of explanation as to why he has such a thing in his possession. 

"In case an evil you ever showed up." 

"Guys, in coming..." Cisco alerts as Overgirl and her husband advance. 

Game on.

Except pretty quickly, she's taken out of the equation. When dark Arrow screams at Thawne to get the prism out of there, it's not the only thing he takes. She's in his arms and travelling faster than the speed of sound before she can even blink. Seconds later when they stop, they're outside Star labs. 

Frost fades away allowing Caitlin control of this moment. 

"What the-- what are you doing?"

"Keeping you safe." 

"I don't need your help to accomplish that."

The Reverse Flash grins at her. "I know."

She stands firm and refuses to allow it to effect her. "Go." 

His grin turns into a forlorn smile. "One day you'll tell me to stay." His hand cups her face, his thumb glides across her lower lip. He leans in to kiss her, soft and sweet and she leans into it, despite her resolve. When he pulls away, his eyes flash red. "Until next time, sweetheart." 

Red lightening fades soon after he disappears, leaving her alone in the empty car lot. Fingers lift to brush her mouth, still able to feel his kiss. A part of her is irritated at herself for welcoming him so easily, for accepting his kiss but the other part, is resigned, knowing her resolve faltering is a given.

Staring into the darkness in the direction he disappeared, her other hand relaxes, fingers unfurl and the spike of ice crashes to the floor. Turning to walk away, the shattered ice which remains behind, ia almost a perfect example of her still broken heart. 

Somehow she has to stop allowing him the power to do this to her every time he suddenly reappears in her life. It has to stop because it can't go on... not anymore. 


	11. Past Returns

The entrance to the pipeline is shrouded in a silence so thick it's almost touchable, the barrier is up to reveal the containment cell in place. From inside his current prison, Thawne stares out. 

"Hi Flash," he greets roughly, a psychotic glint in his eyes as he offers a small wave. 

Leaning against the wall, Barry stares back unfazed and unconcerned. "Thawne." By his side, Cisco remains silent, participating only as a spectator for now. "What do you want?" 

Against the wall of his current prison cell, Thawne relaxes, arms behind his back. "What do I always want?... To kill you and I'm done being patient." He pushes away from the wall to approach the glass, leaning his arm against it as he watches Barry mirror his actions by advancing. A smirk crosses his face or rather, _Nash's_ face as he stares down his rival. "I can't wait to slit your throat and when I do, when I get out and believe me--" His eyes roam over the cell he's trapped inside, his hand hitting the glass to emphasise his point as he looks toward Cisco. "I will get out and I'm going to kill you." 

Barry and Cisco stare back at Thawne in Nash's body, listening to the threats he makes sound like a promise. It's nothing they haven't heard in other encounters previously except this time, it feels different. It truly feels dangerous more so than ever. 

Reverse Flash focuses upon the Flash once more. "Then I'll kill your family and then I'm going to kill your friends." He tells him, then looks to Cisco again, making a motion with his hand to his chest, a reminder of the death he delivered to the younger man in another timeline. "Then I'm going to kill all your friends!" He repeats, making sure his point is firmly across. "Starting with your new pal Nash." 

"No, you won't." Barry replies, shaking his head. He scrutinises the man before him and something he just said triggers a realisation. Something he can use. "But let me ask you something, when you threaten to kill my family, my friends... do you include Caitlin among the victims? Or Jacob? Your son." 

The flawless blank expression Cisco has maintained up until that point finally falters, because that was far from a stellar idea. Barry has just touched upon a very touchy subject. Behind the glass, Thawne's, well Nash's face, completely transforms in absolute fucking Fury. His fist smashes against the glass with such force, Cisco involuntarily takes a step back. 

"Understand me Flash when I say, _never_ and I mean _never_ , insinuate that I would harm Caitlin or our son. I will burn this world to ashes in protection of them." His words are fierce and laced with fire. 

Barry shrugs, not able to stop adding fuel to the fire. "But you have hurt her. repeatedly." 

"Barry--" Cisco warns quietly, because his game playing is escalating far to quickly. 

The only way to describe the look in Nash's eyes is thunderous, Thawne's feelings bleeding through with very little effort. It's almost frightening the intensity. 

"Whatever pain I have caused Caitlin was unintentional, which Caitlin herself knows as the truth. I have never set out to hurt her, _never_..."

"But the point remains that you have and now, you honestly think that by killing everyone close to her, it won't have an effect upon her? On your son? You don't think that's purposely hurting her?" 

Thawne slams his fist forcefully into the glass once more. "I will level this earth, Flash before she suffers..." he stops, his eyes narrowing at the two men and he's about to continue when... 

Suddenly out in the hallway beyond the door, footsteps can be heard moving rapidly and before any of the three men can react, a little boy appears in the doorway. 

Barry looks back at his enemy but his attention his captivated by the newest arrival. A part of him wants to speed Jacob away but the selfish part what's Thawne to see him. That part wins out, he's shamed to admit even if only to himself. 

Jacob, dressed in jeans and a grey sweater, stomps up the ramp to the two men, a familiar floppy eared rabbit under his arm. He pauses when he sees the other familiar man in the cell. "Why's Nash in there?" 

Cisco doesn't hesitate to kneel down in front of the boy, giving him his attention and an excuse. "Remember when your mom sometimes threatens to lock you in there when you don't behave?" When the little boy nods, face serious as he remembers, Cisco continues. "Well Nash didn't listen. So he's in a timeout for awhile." 

"Oh. He was bad. That makes mommy mad." 

"Yeah, it does, like crazy mad." He makes a face which makes his honorary nephew giggle. "Anyway, want to tell me what you're doing down here? I thought you were doing your spelling homework? Have you finished that quick?" 

"I was but it's so boring," Jacob replies almost put out, then all to quickly switches gears onto more _important_ matters. "Look at this," he demands, waving his left wrist almost in Cisco's face. "Mommy cuffed me," he says sounding completely indignant, or as much as an almost five year old can. 

Cisco admires his own handy work around the boy's wrist. "I see that. Do you want to tell me why you find yourself cuffed?" 

"Not really." Jacob shrugs, brushing aside the truth of why his mother cuffed him in the first place. A moments pause follows, then he changes tactic. "Uncle Cisco, can you maybe take it off?" He asks sweetly, in the way that usually gets him exactly what he wants.

As Cisco tries to hold his resolve against an almost five year old boy, Barry scrutinises Thawne. Ever since Jacob entered the pipeline entrance, his gaze has never wavered from the little boy. He is completely enraptured by the scene. It must be startling to be aburpt faced with your son, who's the exact image of the man you killed to inhabit his body. He's jerked out of his observations by a tug at his shirt. Looking down, bright blue eyes stare up at him. 

"Uncle Barry, can you take this off?" He asks, waving his cuffed wrist again for dramatic effect. "Uncle Cisco said no, cos he's afraid of mommy." 

Cisco frowns, looking completely put out by being outed. "Hey! Tiny terror, for the record I'm not afraid of your mother and her wrath." 

"Yeah you are." Jacob replies matter-of-factly, not bothering to turn his attention away from his other uncle to answer. "Please?" He tries again, all sugary sweet. 

Barry hides his smile, shaking his head. "Sorry Jd, but _I am_ afraid of your mom. So the cuff gotta stay until she takes it off." 

The little boy sighs over dramatically and he scuffs the toe of his little Chuck Taylor against the floor as he pouts. 

Thawne feels frozen to the spot, his gaze locked onto his son before him. He can't quite get over how much he's grown and he's exactly how Caitlin always described him. Beautiful, bold and intelligent, manipulative in a way only a child can be. He's-- there's no words and there's no words to describe the feeling in his chest almost only rivalled by the moment he held him in his arms for the first and only time. But so focused he is upon his son, he doesn't realise someone else has joined them in the doorway, until she addresses the room. 

"Barry, could you take Jacob to the speed lab please?"

The taller man hesitates for only a moment then agrees. "Sure. Come on tiny terror." He extends his hand to the little boy but before Jacob takes it, he waves to the man behind the glass. 

"Timeouts suck."

A genuine smile of amusement crosses the man the words are directed at. "Don't worry my boy, I'll be out of here in no time." 

Barry frowns, even more reluctant to leave but he knows Caitlin and Cisco have it under control. 

"Good. You have to behave--" He says, turning to his mother. "Right, mommy?" 

"Absolutely," she says, her expression guarded. "Why don't you go with uncle Barry, okay?" 

Thawne's fist tightens, irritation rising as he scrutinises his enemy standing close beside his son, hand gently resting on his shoulder. 

"You'll take the cuff off?" 

"No but nice try little man." 

Jacob's face falls when he realises his scheme hasn't worked on any of them. So in defeat, he takes Barry's hand and allows him to lead him from the room. 

It hurts far more than he thought, watching his boy walk away having no idea who he truly is. Ignoring the ache in his chest, he concentrates on the beautiful woman in front of him. 

Silence falls, loud and deafening.... Until eventually he has to say something. 

"Hello sweetheart." 

Caitlin doesn't reply, instead walks up the ramp to stand before the cell. Behind her she hears Cisco move away slightly to offer her space. 

"I've missed you.''

Crossing her arms, she regards him critically. Here he is again causing them more trouble and heartache, only this time, Nash is paying the price as his victim. "As you say everytime we meet." 

"I speak only the truth." 

"Yes, the truth. Lets talk about that," she says evenly. "Why are you here? I told you to never come back."

"It's complicated," he tells her, then those eyes of his soften upon her. "But I'll always come back....I really have missed you, Caitlin. And our boy, he's exactly how you described him." 

"Yes, he is." 

"I feel--" 

Biting her lip, Caitlin shakes her head. "You feel nothing." 

This time it's his turn to shake his head. "You know that isn't true. You know the moments we shared. What I feel for you and Jacob is beyond reasoning." He sounds so earnest, needing her to understand and remember the truth of his words. They shared so many wonderful moments together. 

"And yet despite your words claiming to care beyond reason, you stand there and threaten the people we love." 

"Hazard of the job." 

Caitlin snorts, completely unimpressed. "Then I suggest you find a new occupation." 

"How simple you make things sounds. This situation exists because of him. The Flash ruined everything."

Stepping up to the glass, she points her finger at him, suddenly furious. "No, you did. You ruined everything. The only good to come from you is Jacob. A boy this team adores. These people who stood by me and helped in my most vulnerable moments. They were there when I needed you the most." 

His face falls. "You told me to go," he tells her, reminding her of the many times she had. 

"Yes, I did and I'll tell you a thousand times more." 

Thawne stares at her through Nash's eyes, imploring with her. "Everthing could have been different if you had come with me." 

Caitlin stares back at him. 

"We could have been happy, sweetheart." 

"Do you really believe that? That running away was the answer? Because I don't." 

"We would have been together, that's all I wanted." 

She so wants to believe that, she does because it's all she's ever wanted. "Maybe but it-- it wouldn't have been enough, not for you. Because your need to end the Flash isn't something that just goes away, it hadn't then and it hasn't now. As much as I didn't want to lose you, I didn't want to become another version of myself where I become absorbed into that way of thinking. We may have been together and we may have experienced some kind of happiness but you could never let this fight go." 

Thawne's knuckles turn white, how tight he clenches his hand were it rests against the glass. "What are you saying?" 

Caitlin bites her lower lip, taking a moment before saying something she has long wondered if she would ever have the chance or courage. "I'm saying that this is over. I'm telling you again to go and never come back. If you love us as much as you claim, you'll do as I ask." 

"Caitlin." 

"I fell in love with you Harrison, and I'll always love you, deeply. I can't change that and you gave me the greatest gift possible in our son but... the man staring back at me right now isn't one I recognise. This isn't the man I fell in love with, this isn't my son's father." 

His expression is devastated, the big bad mask dropping enough to allow her to see the effect her words have had. "I-- I can't... I can't let you go." 

His devastated expression devastates her. All Caitlin can do is shrug, her eyes feeling the burn of tears. This is so very difficult but it's right, this is the right thing to do. "You have to." 

She has always been and will remain his one true weakness. _No_.

"I can't."

Never did she imagine this moment to be easy and she was right. It isn't. 

"There was a song I heard recently when I was cooking Jacob dinner and some of the lyrics stuck with me and I haven't been able to shake them.... _You're no longer my concern, faces from my past return, another lesson left to learn, I'd fallen for a lie, you were never on my side._ _Fool me once, fool me twice..."_

The weight of those words linger in the air between them until it feels suffocating. 

Thawne's fist unfurls to press his palm flat against the reinforced glass keeping him trapped. "Hurting you was never my intention, you have to believe that. Everything we shared was real. You know it was real, you know how much I love you, how much I love Jacob." He's on the verge of begging, this is what she's reduced him to. 

"Yes but now, it's over." 

He stares at her like she's gutted him and despite how much her heart aches, there's a sense of satisfaction and finality. Ending this is within her control. They could never be anything but this. Stuck in the murky grey expanse between lovers and enemies, forever rotating until eventually it stops... she's can't do this anymore. 

"If the man I fell in love with is in there somewhere, I--" she halts, dropping her gaze from his. "Goodbye Harrison." And with one last look at the man who's turned her world upside down, she turns away and with a nod to Cisco, walks down the ramp.

Thawne panics as he watches her turn to go and he suddenly has the horrible realisation of just how much hurt he's caused her and how much he's taken her for granted. He's been so wrapped up in his grand scheme that he lost sight of what truly matters and now it's slipping through his grasp for the final time. "Caitlin, please. Caitlin!" The words follow her out. "Sweetheart, ple--" the barrier harshly drops into place cutting him off. 

Behind the glass, Reverse Flash roars in anguish, his fists smashing against the glass until it's bloody and he's breathless.... he's lost them. _No_. _No_. _No_. Resting his forehead against the glass, he closes his eyes. The moment of clarity required to show him what truly is important has been harshly delivered and it isn't this never ending feud with the flash. No. It's her and their son and this can't be the end. It just can't. He won't allow it. 

Out in the hall, Caitlin takes a moment leaning against the cold concrete wall. Steady deep breaths fill her lungs to calm her, in and out, over and over. This is it, _it's_ _over_. It's hurts more than she thought it would. 

A gentle touch to her shoulder draws her attention. 

"You okay?" Cisco asks concerned. He's still surprised by how vulnerable and desperate Thawne just appeared as Caitlin finally cut the ties binding them. 

"I'm fine. Really."

"You've been waiting a long time to say that, huh?"

Caitlin lets out a shuddering breath, her hands shaking as the reality sets in. She's let him go, released herself from his hold. "I need to see Jacob and we need to get _him_ out of Nash's body." 

"Copy that." 

The journey is short and quiet and before to long their walking into the speed lab. Her eyes find her son immediately, standing beside Barry chatting, about what is anyone's guess. Her heart swells with love for this little boy, overwhelming the ache created by his father. Coming to stop by his side, she kneels down. 

"Hi mom!" 

His smile lights up his whole face, a face so much like his father's. It's always annoyed her how she did all the heavy lifting then pushing, only for her not to get a look in. Jacob is a miniature version of Harrison, through and through. 

"Have I told you today that I love you?" 

Jacob rolls his eyes. "You tell me like a thousand times, mommy." 

"Good." She pulls him towards her, wrapping him tight in her arms, smiling when he squirms though she knows how much he secretly loves cuddles. "I love you." 

"I love you too mommy." 

Caitlin pulls back to press a kiss to his forehead. 

Jacob suddenly adopts a look, all cute and puppy dog eyes. "So..." 

She narrows her eyes, playing along. "So?"

He lifts up his wrist, shaking it at her. "Take off the cuff?" 

He drives her insane, all sweet and innocent when really he's a tiny terror who has her wrapped around his little finger. And she wouldn't change him for the world. 

"Please mommy." 

Dear lord give her strength... 

Taking his wrist gently in her hands, she presses her thumb to the cuff. With a green flash and a beep, the cuff comes apart and he's free. 

Stepping forward little arms wrap around her neck in thanks, his mouth pressing a sweet little kiss to her cheek. 

"Can I run?" 

Brushing her fingers through his hair, she nods giving her permission. "Yeah, you can run." 

He grins, hands over his prized rabbit to her for safe keeping and then in a flash, he's gone. 

Standing up, Caitlin hugs close the battered plush to watch with a smile as the air around them fills with the colour of his lightening, flashes of orange as he runs and runs. 

Cisco bumps her shoulder with his and her smile widens. 

Today, she has said goodbye to the man she loves but despite the hurt, she's content. While it may not be the outcome her heart desires, it's the only one within her control. Everything she has is right here within this team, this family. Her friends who support her and her son, who's the very best version of his father. This is where she's meant to be, with Jacob. 

Fool her once maybe but never twice. 


	12. Back To the Beginning

It's so quiet you could hear a pin drop. 

From her position, she observes him as he sleeps stretched out along the white sofa, still naked from the love making they shared not so long ago. Her body still aches as she remembers the way he looked beneath her, eyes darkened with lust completely enraptured upon her. There's such an intensity to how he makes love, all consuming and _burning._

But it doesn't matter how long she stands there gazing at him remembering their shared intimacy, the feeling which has settled in the pit of her stomach just won't go away. 

Tearing her eyes from his still form, she turns her gaze away to stare back out into the never ending darkness that has shrouded over his huge garden. Raindrops slam against the expanse of glass windows surrounding them. She follows the raindrops as they race in random patterns, with every new drop to hit the glass a new pattern is created. Over and over and over again the process continues. The rain is calming and usually it's effect lulls her but right now, it does nothing to sooth her. Along the wall behind her the over dramatic fire place blazes bright and hot, fighting away any lingering chill in the air.

She really doesn't have any idea what to do next, her mind in complete turmoil with the revelation revealed to her earlier that day. Well, she can't say it's only been today because truthfully, she's suspected for the last week or so but today came the official confirmation. So in relation to the news recieved, her emotions right now are all over the place which apparently is normal but still, everything combined is overwhelming her to the point where she feels like she's suffocating, the knowledge and worry weighing down like a ton upon her chest.

A trembling hand rubs across her forehead before a deep sigh escapes. For the first time in forever, thinking over the problem isn't helping in the slightest, instead it's only serving to make matters worse because she can't stop the thoughts from rolling around inside her head. Over and over they tumble. She wishes her mind would just stop bombarding her with worries and allow her a moments peace.

Allow her a moment of nothing, no thought or feeling.

Unfortunately she isn't that lucky.

Far from it. 

Because she's startled out of her reverie, when the man she assummed to still be asleep, speaks up from behind her.

"Caitlin?"

A shuddering breath escapes her at the gentle intimacy in his tone. It's soft and ruff and it simply makes her _fucking heart ache_. Glancing over her shoulder, she watches him shift half awake, a hand moving to rub away any lingering remnants of sleep from his eyes. A yawn quickly follows. In unguarded moments such as this, seeing him like this is adorable and sweet, it's intimate in a way sex isn't. "I'm here."

Those sleepy bright blue eyes immediately shift to her from across the room and he sits up on the sofa. "What are you doing over there?"

"Thinking," comes her soft and simple reply, her gaze returning to the darkness before her. Looking at him won't help. He has the power to weaken her and she can't allow it, now now. She has to hold her resolve, nerves cannot play any part here, not for something this big. 

"And what is that beautiful mind of yours thinking? If I may ask?"

For a few moments after his questions, Caitlin stays silent as an internal battle rages on as she debates the best way to approach the conversation that needs to be had. Taking a deep breath, she opts for the simplest option of just saying it how it really is, lead from the front with the truth, slowly. "I have something I need to tell you, something we need to talk about." 

"Oh." He nods, tilting his head to the side in a considering manner. "This is serious, I take it?" He offers her that charming smile that she loves so much and for once it does absolutely nothing to ease her like it usually would. If anything it sets her on edge even further because this could all go so wrong, so fast. "You know we can talk about anything." 

A small nervous laugh escapes almost on it's own accord and Caitlin shakes her head. If only it were that simple. "I went to see my doctor today, for a check up. I haven't been feeling well this last week or so." She looks over her shoulder so it allows her to meet his startling blue eyes that are staring straight back at her. His face is blank, showing no hint of expression or emotion.

 _Of course_. 

Any other way would be too easy. 

They share at one another for a few moments, a heavy weight of silence falling between them before Caitlin breaks the standoff taking place by looking back out to the darkened garden. It gives her time to gather and calm herself, to formulate what comes next but it doesn't last long enough. The minutes drag by as she tries to find the next words to deliver, when suddenly in the window reflection she sees him appear behind her.

"Is everything alright?" He asks softly, his hands gently find her waist as he presses himself against her from behind. All the breath seems to leave her body in a violent rush at the contact. "Are you alright?" His concern is evident as gentle hands slide against her hips. Harrison's lips press against her ear where he softly whispers, "Caitlin, you're scaring me."

She turns in his arms then, bringing them face to face and she runs trembling hands down his chest. Silently she begs this isn't about to fall apart around her. "My doctor did some blood work and... I'm pregnant." 

Harrison stills at the words but remains calm. _This is the moment._ His blue eyes so bright never flinch or waver away from her. But he doesn't say anything.

A frown covers her pretty face and the nerves ramp up a notch inside her. Why hasn't he said anything? Which could only be very good or very bad. Maybe he's in shock. "Harrison, did you hear what I just said?" 

His right hand slides from her hip to her still flat stomach, resting above where she safely carries their child. _Their_ _child_. "How far along are you?" 

Caitlin bites her lower lip. "Twelve weeks." 

"Twelve weeks?" He repeats quietly. 

"Yeah." 

"And everything is alright? With you and the baby?" 

"Yes. Everything is as it should be. My doctor gave me a ton of pamphlets and some prenatal vitamins. I have a scan in three days."

"A scan..." 

Caitlin studies his chest, concentrating on his heart beating beneath her palm. It's calm. "You can come with me, if you want?" 

"Of course." Harrison says immediately then shakes his head, taking a step closer to her as he huffs out a laugh. "How didn't we notice?" 

"I don't know," she laughs softly, nerves slowly leaving her now that the fear of his reaction is lessening. Dropping her hand from his chest, she covers his resting upon her stomach. "How do you-- feel about it? I know we never planned for this to happen but I--" 

His mouth suddenly against hers stops any further words. It's fierce and possessive, full of heat and want and it leaves nothing regarding his feelings to doubt. The momentum of the kiss pushes them back until he has her pressed against the rain chilled glass. His hands make quick work to rid her of his sweater she had snatched up from the floor when she left the couch. He riles her up so quickly, fingers teasing between her legs until she whimpers against his mouth. When he lifts her, legs easily wrap themselves around his waist as he pushes them away from the window. The walk is short and soon he lowers her back to the sofa, settling between her thighs. His kiss slides away from her mouth tracking down her body, pausing at her breasts before he presses a simple sweet kiss just below her belly button. 

"We're having a baby." 

Caitlin smiles softly at the awed tone of his voice and she reaches to tug him back up over her before he can wander any lower. Hands frame his face and she kisses him slow. "We are." 

" _Caitlin_." 

He just has this way of saying her name, lacing so much emotion into one word. It's become one of her favourite sounds. "I was nervous you'd be upset." 

"Oh sweetheart... _never_." This time he kisses her, his tongue chasing after hers. With a slight shift of his hips, he slides into her, his groan losing itself in her mouth as he rests to the hilt inside of her. Joining them together. 

She breaks the kiss to bite her lip, nails tracing down his spine to tease him. 

Harrison looks down, his eyes drowning in hazel pools of liquid heat, in her love so clearly on display... He recognises without a shadow of a doubt that everything he has done up until this moment, to get back to this moment with her is worth everything. When she left him in the cell, after seeing their boy grown so much since he first held him, to then hear her declare this is it, that this relationship between them is over and to go and to never come back... it absolutely devastated him. Instances before where she told him the same had never up until that moment, been anything remotely close to how she was that day. Determined and serious, resolute and confident in her decision and he couldn't accept it. _No_. He told her he couldn't let go and it had been true. She was, _is,_ his one true weakness. Hearing her say it was over and watching her walk away had finally made him realise that he couldn't carry on as he was. The fight with the Flash would go on and on and for what? A death which would now be meaningless and a chance to return to a future which had nothing there for him... because his future had been right in front of him the whole time.

He just needed that one pivotal moment of consequence and Caitlin walking away had harshly snapped everything into perspective.

_Nothing matters more than Caitlin and their son._

So he fixed it. He travelled back through time, accomplished what needed to be accomplished to get to this point, minus the nefarious events in relation to bringing down the Flash along the way. No more agenda. Reverse Flash is dead and buried. He has Caitlin and he's given Caitlin the _Harrison_ she fell in love with and deserves. It's true he isn't a good man, far from it, because he's had to do plenty of terrible things along the way to get to this point, but things are good now. He is the very best man he can be for her. The team at the lab is solid and with Gideon's help, evidence had been planted to wrap up Nora Allen's murder, allowing Henry to walk free from Iron Heights prison.

There's nothing to fear but everything to live for. Yes, there's slight differences now, like that godforsaken chair is no longer required but everything is as it should be where it's most important.

_He's here now with Caitlin. His endgame. His family._

"Hey," she prompts softly, tapping his chin with her finger. "You okay?" 

Her gentle concern makes him smile down at her, feeling relaxed and happy like he's never experienced before. "Sorry, I drifted there for a second."

"I'm not sure I should take that as a compliment," she mourns playfully, referring to the fact he's buried deep inside of her. Just for punishment, she squeezes herself hard around him. His resulting groan is a lovely reward. 

"Tease." Harrison rolls his eyes as he rolls his hips into her. "I was actually thinking about you... and about the baby." 

"Oh?" 

He drops his head to brush his lips across hers. "I was thinking, what about the name Jacob for a boy?" 

Caitlin opens her eyes to look up at him, surprise overshadowing the lust. "Why do you think it will be a boy?" 

"Just a feeling."

Slowly he rolls his hips into her again. 

"It's a bit early for names but I--" her breath catches, "oh God..." she mutters softly before remembering the topic they were _discussing_. "I do actually like Jacob," she says then moves her hands to once more frame his face, making him focus upon her. "But... can we curb this discussion until later? Because this is a little weird." He stops moving and she continues, "Do you really want to sit down in years to come with your son and tell him he was named while his parents had sex?" 

Harrison smirks. "Good point."

"Good, we'll talk about it later," she tells him. "Now move." 

"Bossy," he mutters, as he starts to move like instructed, fucking her long and slow. His hands find hers, fingers threading together before he presses them down into the sofa. He's just about to kiss her, lips hovering above hers when he pauses. "So to clarify, we both agree on Jacob, correct?" 

"Harrison!"

And as his laugh follows her scolding, mixing with her gasps in the air of their home, he realises he never again has to worry about being one step ahead... 

She was the plot twist he never expected. 

And now as the result he has everything he ever needs right here in his arms, Caitlin and their beautiful boy.

The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading


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